12 Nights of Christmas (Jake x Johnnie)

Night Six

I was worried that Jake might come over again. I wasn't so worried that he'd come, that didn't bother me. I was worried he'd find out that I'd cut again.

I don't know how it happens. Just a thought comes up. One thing leads to another, and then I've got a blade in my hand. I've got a blade in my hand, and I'm running it across my thighs like the bleeding will help me somehow. I'd Jake knew I was doing this, he would definitely kill me. He wouldn't ever find it in his heart to forgive me, even if he'd managed before.

That's why I can't let him into my life. He doesn't need my bullshit to deal with too. I know Jake's struggling with his own problems. Mine on top of that would only make things bad. So what if I was alone? At least I wasn't hurting anyone else. Much to my dismay, there was a knock on my door. I got up from my dark corner on the floor. I stumbled up to the door, scared to find that it wasn't just a present in a package. Jake was standing there. His smile fell the minute he took a look at me. "You hurt yourself?"

"It's nothing." I dismissed him with a fake, forced smile. "Nothing to worry about."

"Don't lie to me." I shut the door in his face. It was my own damn fault for answering it in the first place. If he didn't need to worry about me, why did he seem to like doing it so much?

Jake seemed to have learned torture tactics from World War I. He knocked on the door. Over and over and over and over and over. The knocking didn't stop for ten minutes. By that point, I was sure he'd busted open all of his knuckles and was bleeding all over my door. Sheerly out of pity, I opened the door again. "You're not getting rid of me," Jake said. His knuckles were now bleeding.

"I can see that." I rolled my eyes. "Why can't you see that this isn't meant to happen?"

"Why can't you see that I don't give a fuck what happens in those kinds of situations?" He crossed his arms. "So what if you don't think it's our destiny? I don't care. All I want is to know is why you think it's okay to do that to yourself." He gestured to my bloody thigh. "Because it's not."

Now, it was my turn to cross my arms. "I didn't ask for your charity. You can leave your present and be on your way." Jake handed me a box.

"Merry Christmas." I tore open the paper, finding inside an empty photo frame. It was simple, nothing really. The frame was silver.

"Thanks." I put it down. "That wasn't a very creative one. Did you run out of ideas?"

"You can put whatever you want in there. I figured that after everything that's happened, a Polaroid of us wouldn't be appropriate." He turned to walk away from me. "You don't have to be such an asshole. You're the one with the problem. All I want is to help you."

"I never asked for your help." He was stupid to think that he had any power to help me.