𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐑𝐄'𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐄 | Fruits Basket FF

(23)

unrevised.
/ chapter 23 /

Ichika questioned herself as why she needed to hide.

She gripped her hands on the tray as she stood hidden in the corner, outside of the cabin that lead to the porch where Hatori, Shigure and Ayame sat.

She didn't mean to listen in on their conversation. She just so happened to come out of the cabin at the wrong time with the tea Shigure had asked for, and she didn't want to interrupt what looks like an important conversation.

However, while she was debating when was a good time to serve them tea, a name popped up in their conversation.

Kana.

The name was no doubt one that unlocked dark memories for her.

Once again, the name Kana was mentioned. And she had no idea who it was.

"—so it would be problematic if she happened to remember something." She heard Hatori state calmly.

"Would it really be problematic? If she remembered, you two could fall in love again." Ayame spoke strongly.

Ichika's eyes widened.

"I can't accept this. Kana-kun is being unfair! She's forgotten everything and found happiness."

The bluenette's head was going to burst. There was mystery around Hatori. Much of what she has yet to know. Who was Kana and who was she to Hatori? Who was Hatori to her? Why was Kana's named mentioned when Akito—

"It hurts.. Akito.." Ichika cried.

Ichika grew pallid as the tray began to shake in her hands.

"Ichika-chan?" The sound of Tohru's gentle voice awoke her from her nightmare of a memory.

Her navy eyes met Tohru's warm brown ones, who looked at her with curiosity and Ichika found herself unable to hold her gaze. She quickly dropped her eyes to the floor.

Hearing the shuffling of feet, she noticed Tohru's pink sneakers standing in front of her as her gaze was kept to the ground. Ichika pushed the tray over to her to hold.

"C-Can you t-take this over to Shigure-san? I-I don't feel so well." Ichika stammered.

Without hearing Tohru's reply, the bluenette hastily made her escape back into the cabin. She ran upstairs and looked for an empty room. Luckily, Kyo and Yuki were no where to be in sight and she quickly found a room and locked herself in there.

Her wide navy eyes stared emptily at the patterns of the wooden door for a few moments before she backed away from it and collapsed onto the floor on her knees. Her body began to erratically shake as her breath became short. She slapped a hand over her mouth as she gasped for air and tears welled up in her eyes.

When she begun to sputter her coughs and continued to gasped for air.

"Ne, Ichika. You know why I do this, right?" Akito questioned quietly as he gently held her tear-stained face to look up at him. "You know I have a hard time dealing with all the other stuff as the Head of the family."

Her dull eyes could only emptily stare at him.

"And what angers me most is that wench thinks she can walk around freely with our secret in her hands, just because she recently started dating one of our members! Crazy b*tch." The God hissed. "What if I just—"

Akito removed his hands from her face and placed it on her neck. Pushing her down, he sat on top of her with a murderous look as he squeezed hard.

She knew exactly who he was talking about. Her name had been brought up so many times that she'd lost count how many times Akito had visited her this week because of that name.

He looked down at her nonchalantly as he let his body take control. She choked underneath him, clawing at his hands around her neck and leaving claw-like marks on him, but he didn't seem bothered by it in the slightest.

After a few moments, she could feel that she was losing it. Her movements slowed and her body began to twitch. Her eyes started rolling back into her head as just as it did so, Akito had finally let go.

She coughed uncontrollably and held her throat as she tried to catch her breath. She hadn't realised Akito had already gotten off of her when she suddenly felt Akito's arms around her, pulling her towards him in a deadly embrace.

The God had almost killed her, now he was hugging her.

Did anything make sense anymore?

"That's a good girl. You make me less angry whenever I pay you a visit, so just keep doing it, okay? All you have to do is be my little doll, one I can do whatever I want with."

She didn't want to hear anymore.

"You should be blaming Kana. After all, the reason I'm doing this to you is all because of her. I wouldn't need to be hurting you if she just knew her place. Right, Ichika?"

The vents of anger was relentless towards Ichika. Two months worth of it. She remembered it all now.

Ichika covered her ears shut with her hands in hopes she would make the memory disperse. She mentally begged for it to go away. She didn't want to remember the pain that she had forced herself to forget.

Why?

She was doing so well forgetting about her life at the Estate as she started a new one when she had successfully gotten away.

Why now? Wasn't she getting better?

Why was her pain being brought along into her new life? Why couldn't it just leave her alone.

Kana was just a name to her, but it brought her so much pain and she hadn't even met the person.

But now the dots connected.

The member that Kana dated was Hatori. They were engaged.

She was conflicted.

Conflicted with the fact that she spent so much time internally blaming this Kana because she was unable to direct her anger to the real perpetrator.

Ichika felt like a monster. She begun to believe Akito's words without even realising. She blamed Kana. She turned her hatred towards Kana as she was inflicted with pain. She spent days cursing the poor girl.

The truth is, Kana was never the one to be blamed.

She realised that, now that she was filled with overwhelming guilt that ate away at her.

There was the other question.

What kind of person was Kana? How lovely of a person she must have been than what her head depicted her out to be.

Would she still feel guilty if Kana hadn't been her saviour's ex lover? Truthfully, she didn't know, but it did help put perspective into things. She had the right to be angry but her anger should have never been directed at Kana in the first place. It should have been directed at Akito.. or maybe even herself.

She was human, and humans feel different emotions all the time, but being a subject of abuse and putting the blame on someone she barely knew wasn't the way to go about things.

And she was at fault for that. She viewed Kana as a token to vent her anger, just as Akito had with her.

Ichika glared down at her shaky hands. She was just like him. There was no difference between Akito and her.