A Loveless Marriage

Chapter 27: Mary

Marriage is a waltz, once the music starts you must find the rhythm together or you'll both be lost. With forgiveness of each other's weaknesses, we found our rhythm and we'd found happiness. In his arms, I danced away from the past and into a future that we made our own. Our love was as decadent as the gowns I wore, we were so devoted that our friends laughed and yet we did not care.

Even that chance meeting of the Mordaunts would not touch me as it had before. It had made me uncomfortable but I was cocooned in his love, safe and warm. Fred was still naughty of course, he would shock the vicar over afternoon tea or surprise me with a passionate kiss right in front of the servants, but there was no misunderstanding about his character. He had reformed to the best of his ability. That was enough for us both.

I loved the domestic life, planning o6r Friday to Monday party with the strategy of a general going into battle. I poured over the menus that cook had provided, from picnics by the lake to the most lavish of dinners. I kept a small notebook with notes on all our guests, so I knew their likes, their foibles and their politics. Inviting the right guests was like alchemy, a secretive blend to turn an ordinary party to gold.

It was not four weeks until we were hosting a party that Fred sauntered in and announced I needed to include two more in the party. I stared at him in disbelief, my carefully laid plans in tatters.

"What do you mean two more?" I said. "I sent the invites a fortnight ago."

"Well I sort of invited someone last week and forgot," he said airily. "Don't be angry, my angel."

"I'm not angry," I said, unconvincingly. "I'm just surprised."

"Well they are your guests anyway," he said.

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's your Cousin Daniel and his wife," he said.

"You mean the Mordaunts?"

"Yes, I met him at my club. We had a very pleasant evening of cards and I ended up inviting him. Got their letter to say they would accept today. "

I sat dumbly, wondering how Daniel and Fred could have possibly crossed paths and what they would have talked about. Fred glanced at me and frowned, he sat next to me and took my hand. A cold, tightness grew in my chest but I knew any demonstration of my discomfort would lead to questions I did not wish to answer.

"Have I done something dreadfully wrong?" he said. "I thought you wouldn't mind."

"No, I am just thinking about what rooms to put them in," I said. "Harriet can be quite particular."

I could not imagine what had induced Harriet to accept the offer, unless it was from some grim determination to make herself miserable. I pretended to go over the room list. I had already decided to swap their rooms with the Petherick's as they were the furthest away from my room, but I knew it would shade me from further scrutiny from Fred.

I threw myself into planning like never before. Editing menus, inspecting the guest rooms, organising activities. There would be no time for anything but entertainment. There would be no awkwardness. There would be shooting for the gentlemen, a scavenger hunt for the ladies. We would not idle away as the men bagged their grouse. There would be fun and frivolities every moment to hide the raging of my heart.

Daniel was the unknown factor in all this. Would he be able to maintain the veneer of politeness or would his jealousy win through.

I remembered the Christmas ball with misery. The first ball since his engagement to Harriet. How I had thought the best way through it was to flirt with Edmund Powlett all evening and refuse to dance with Daniel. He'd caused such a scene and Harriet was mortified. That was the day it was decided I should become a paid companion, because if I had stayed there was chance of a scandal.