A Loveless Marriage

Chapter 11: Mary

Sleepiness had won over excitement.  On the last leg of our return journey, I had fallen asleep with my head resting on Fred's shoulder.  Gentle fingers brushed the hair from my cheek and I blearily opened my eyes to see Fred peering at me with amusement.

     "It's time to wake up, sleepyhead," he said with affection.  "You don't want to miss the view."

    "Are we at Loseley Court already?" I said, struggling to focus out of the window.

   "Not quite," he said, his arm tightening around my shoulder.

It took me a few seconds to realise that I was curled up in his embrace, my body pushed against his. While I was sleeping, he must have put his arm around me or else I have moved towards him in my dreams. It was a new kind of intimacy between us and something about the tenderness made me flutter inside.  Part of me wanted to push him away, to maintain a barrier between us but another part of me soaked in the warmth of his companionship.  Now I was awake, I felt the chill of the air and instead of pulling away I snuggled closer into his body heat.  He looked down at me in surprise, a twinkle of merriment in his eyes. 

     "I should have worn my silver fox," I said, the heat of my blush burning in the cold air.  

     "Oh, is that why you are so close to me?" he asked with a smirk.  "I thought you had finally succumbed to my charms.

I gave a snort of derision and started to pull away from him, but he pulled me closer with a chuckle.

   "I'll keep you warm, I don't mind," he said, pressing a platonic kiss on the top of my head.

The car turned down an avenue lined with mighty redwoods.  Even in the cold weather, the fragrant resin scent of the pine needles filled the car.  Fred closed his eyes and inhaled. I peeked up at him, seeing the fragile smile of a boy on his face.  This journey must have brought many childhood memories to him, I wondered how many of them were happy.  I liked moments like this, when I could see his vulnerability beneath the smooth veneer.

Before us the road curved down into the trees, cracks of light beaming down from the gaps between the branches of redwoods.  Fred leaned forward, watching out the window eagerly, each tree he regarded with silent familiarity. We passed a strange standing stone and his body tensed with excitement.

     "Stop the car," he said and turned to me with a grin.  "Let's walk for a few moments."

    "Are you mad, Fred?" I protested.  "It's freezing outside."

   "Well, maybe next time you wear the lovely warm coat that I bought for you, instead of complaining that it was a needless indulgence."

   "Squirrel would have been quite adequate," I said with a sniff.

   "Oh my darling Mary," he chuckled.  "When will you learn that adequate will never be good enough?" 

Looking down at the floor, I bit my lip, knowing that I was far from good enough.  A squirrel coat would have suited me better and even then it was above what I deserved.  The driver waited patiently, his ears stone to our conversation until we addressed him.  Tenderly, Fred tipped up my chin until my gaze met his.

  "Please walk with me, Mary," he said with half a smile.  "I promise you won't regret it."

Reluctantly, I stepped out into the icy woodland air. The driver glanced at us in his mirror, shaking his head slightly at our foolishness.  My toes were already feeling bruised from the cold and instinctively reached for Fred, huddling up to him like sheep on a winter moor.  My impatience grew with every step I took on the frost-crisped path.  I simply could not see why Fred was insisting on trudging out in the cold when there was a perfectly good motorcar waiting behind to transport us.  Frustrated as I attempted to keep up with his long-legged pace, I was about to unleash a barrage of complaints when we turned the corner.  I was silenced.