A Loveless Marriage

Chapter 15: Bella

I hated Mary with every inch of my soul. A dark, visceral hatred that burned deep in my core. I watched her as we ate dinner, the food turned to ash in my mouth every time she smiled. As Mary raised her glass to her lips, I fantasised that the wine was poisoned and any moment she would fall choking on the table. The thought of her death made me smile. She had stolen Fred Wilkes from me as if it was nothing and now presided at his table, accepted by all our friends except me.
Everyone cooed over how charming and clever our hostess was, as though they were surprised the young bride could manage such a simple thing as a house party. I was not surprised. Her skill was in placating fools, she managed Agatha Chorley with insidious attention and she did the same to us. I watched her as she listened intently to the foolish nonsense of her guests, my resentment burning deep as she gave a little nod or asked a thoughtful little question to make the speaker feel important. A cunning little vixen.

"Pretty little thing, isn't she?" Julia Halliday said after dinner. "No wonder my cousin is besotted with her."

"Besotted?" I sneered. "I don't believe Fred Wilkes has ever been besotted in his life."

Julia shrugged and looked over at Mary talking animatedly to the Bishop's wife. Her eyes widened as she nodded in earnest agreement.

"Well I never believed he would marry but look at him now, a devoted husband," she said.
There was a mischievous glint in her eyes as she leaned closer to me and whispered conspiratorially. "I must say, I am surprised to see she is so slim, I would have thought there would be the talk of baby bonnets and christening by now."

"You think that Fred Wilkes would have married merely because he has got someone with child?" I said, raising my eyebrow.

Julia's lips pressed together as she thought about the situation. She would never guess why they had married. Only my brother and I knew about the contents of the will that had bound my poor Freddie to the little upstart, so I was not tantalised by the mystery of their hasty wedding. What did puzzle me, was how convincing he was at pretending he was a happily married man.

"Perhaps he ran out of ways to shock us, wicked boy," Julia said with affection. "Marrying a penniless beauty was the last thing we expected."

Beauty. That was the word everyone used to describe Mrs Wilkes, as of that could make up for her insufferable lack of breeding. Nobody mentioned her lowly past as a companion, they all seemed determined to like her no matter what.

"Beauty?" I sneered. "I think she is pretty but too insipid to be considered a true beauty."

"Ah Mrs Morton, your jealousy is showing," Julia said. "Our youth and beauty has passed as like the years."

I despised Julia Halliday at that moment. I was barely thirty and never admitted to older than twenty-four, my beauty was ageless I was sure. Other men still wanted me, I could have remarried if I had chosen but I had wanted Frederick Wilkes and none other, not even my dear, departed husband. I changed the subject to her dogs, she was always content to rattle on about them, while I sat deliberating on what I could do to get some time alone with Fred Wilkes.

The gentlemen returned from their port and cigars, my hopes lifted a bit as Freddie glanced in my direction but they were soon dashed. I had been here for two nights, shivering with anticipation as I waited for Freddie's knock at my door but it had not happened. Tomorrow, the party would be over and my chance to connect with Freddie would vanish. I began to realise that all his sweet words before his marriage had been nothing but false promises. Desperation made fools of the wisest and his abandonment of me made me feel reckless.

Card tables were set up, I was devoted to bridge but knew Fred would not play. I refused my hostess's entreaties to make up the fourth hand and instead sat on the sofa watching Freddie intently. Nothing. His attention flickered occasionally to where his wife sat talking to my brother and William Chorley. I stood alone, feeling lost to the world. It had been a mistake to come, I knew that now and yet I could not help but hope something would change. Mary Wilkes stood up, moving past me to fetch something instead of sending a servant like a true lady. I could not help myself, I wanted his attention and she was the key.