A Loveless Marriage

Chapter 38: Mary

Six letters were set in front of me, carefully selected to give the worst possible impression. All starting "My beloved Daniel" and all bearing my signature. I took my time to look at them separately, keenly aware of the jurors eyes on me as I did so. Each man in the jury had a transcript of what I had written. Foolish, passionate scribbles from a foolish, passionate little girl. My cheeks burned with shame as I heard the shuffling of their papers.

"Do you recognise these letters? I refer to exhibits C1, C2,C3, C4, C5 and C6," said the prosecutrix.

"Yes, I do," I replied, wishing I could disavow them.

"And did you write them?"

"Yes, many years ago," I said. "When I was a girl."

"And to whom did you write these letters?"

"The victim, Mr Daniel Mordaunt," I said.

"Are you surprised to discover he'd kept them?"

"Yes, I'd asked him to burn them many years ago," I said. "I assumed he had."

"If I may, your Honour," said Mr Reeves, the prosecutrix. "I would like to read some extracts to the court."

The judge made no objection and so my teenage scrawls were read out to the world. I kept my eyes firmly on my hands, not daring to look at the mirth or shock in anyone's face.

"My beloved Daniel,
Yet again you have chosen the perfect book. I cannot wait until Tuesday night when we can discuss it. I feel like I talk with you always and never grow bored. Whenever we are the same room and are apart, I am distracted by your mere presence and when I sneak a look, I see you are looking at me too!

Suggest a picnic to your sister weekend so we all can take the Bluebottle to Folly Island. I love watching you row, the slightest beads of perspiration of your forehead. I love to see how strong your arms are, oh how I wish you could hold me with them!

Last night I lay awake thinking of you and I could not sleep. I thought about what you said in your last letter, about us being two halves that are not yet united and how one day we will be one. It frightened me a little, because I know in my heart it is true. How could I be complete without you? You are everything to me and it is the sweetest agony."

"And this one, dated 5th May," he continued.

"My beloved Daniel,

How could you ask that? I want you and only you. You must not let your jealousy get the better of you. I could not refuse to dance with Edmund and Cecil to dance only with you, it would cause such a scandal. Just know that while I was dancing with them, I thought only of you, my dearest, and you alone.

I wore your locket this morning and Harriet asked me about it. I had to lie and say it was an heirloom from my grandmother. How could I tell her what it meant? That I love you more than anything in the world and you love me? That you have asked me to be your wife and I have said yes. Four years seems such a awfully long to wait, but I cannot see my Aunt Lydia giving permission while I am her ward. I can bring nothing to our marriage except my love, is that enough for you? Please say it is. I love you beyond anything, my sweetest Daniel, I love you."

"These are letters you wrote, Mrs Wilkes."

"Yes," I said. "When I was a foolish seventeen year old, who was far too fond of the romance stories in Girls Own Annual."