Begin Again: A "What If" Black Widow Screenplay

Scene 4B: Never Letting Go

AN HOUR AFTER ROOFTOP EVENTS, AFTER YELENA DISAPPEARED FROM DORM

LOCATION: DORM LIVING ROOM.

(FADE IN. EVERYONE HAD LEFT, LEAVING NATASHA LEFT TO HERSELF AND HER THOUGHTS. THAT IS, EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR STEVE. AFTER GIVING NATASHA SOME PRIVACY TO PROCESS EVERYTHING, STEVE NOW ENTERS, COMING IN FROM OUTSIDE. QUIETLY CLOSES BACK DOOR BEHIND HIM. NATASHA IS SITTING ON THE COUCH, WITH HER FEET UP ON IT. SHE IS STARING AT A PARTICULAR PICTURE THAT IS TAPED ONTO THE WALL. SHE IS WEARING A COMPLETELY UNREADABLE EXPRESSION AS HER EYES ARE FIXED UPON SAID PICTURE. THE PICTURE IS A SELFIE OF NAT AND YELENA, TAKEN ONLY A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE VORMIR MISSION- THAT TOOK PLACE ONLY EIGHT MONTHS AGO. THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN OUTSIDE, ON A BEAUTFUL TRAIL, WHERE SHE AND YELENA WERE ON ONE OF THEIR MORNING RUNS TOGETHER. THE SISTERS ARE SURROUNDED BY GREENERY AND YELLOW FLOWERS. THEY HAVE THEIR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER AND THEY ARE LEANING THEIR HEADS AGAINST ONE ANOTHER'S, SMILING WIDELY. BOTH THEIR EYES ARE AGLEAM AND FILLED WITH THE UTMOST LIGHT AND LOVE.)

STEVE:    (STANDS NEAR LIVING ROOM ENTRANCE IN SILENCE FOR A FEW MOMENTS, STUDYING NATASHA STARE AT THE PICTURE. SLOWLY MOVES TO SIT ON COUCH BESIDE HER) Hey.

NATASHA:    (KNEW STEVE HAD BEEN IN ROOM THANKS TO HER HEIGHTENED "SPY SENSES", BUT IS ACTING LIKE SHE WASN'T AWARE OF HIS PRESENCE. GLANCES TO HIM) Hey, old man. (SOUNDING DISTRACTED. QUIETER THAN USUAL. SHE AVOIDS HIS EYES. RESUMES STARING AT PICTURE)

STEVE:    (INHALES. FOLDS HIS HANDS IN HIS LAP AND NOW STARES AT THE PICTURE WITH NATASHA, LETTING THERE BE A MOMENT OF SILENCE- BUT NOT AN AWKWARD OR TENSE ONE. THIS MOMENT OF SILENCE HOLDS AN UNSPOKEN THING THAT WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS.)
(HE GRINS SLIGHTLY)
That is a great picture of you two, you know. It's one of my favorites actually. (ADMIRES PICTURE ONE MORE TIME. HIS EYES THEN MEET NATASHA'S)

NATASHA:    (SMALL HALF-SMILE) Mm. Really? (LAUGHS QUIETLY) It's not the best picture of us, but for some reason Yelena thought it deserved to be taped on the wall with all her other pictures.

STEVE:    (SOFT CHUCKLE) Well, I too think it deserves to be on the wall. It captures both of your spirits perfectly- and the bond and sisterly love shared between you two.

NATASHA:    (SCOFFS LIGHTLY, ROLLING HER EYES. ADJUSTS HER LEGS AND SITS UP STRAIGHT ON COUCH. ONE SIDE OF HER LIPS CURL UPWARDS) Yeah, well... little did we know, that wouldn't last much longer. To rehash this: Three days after we took this picture, I left Yelena to go on the mission with Clint. Then I'd "sacrifice" myself for humanity by falling off a cliff and just about dying. Next, I was presumed dead, but was really still alive and held against my will, despite constantly asking for Yelena. To top it all off as a result, Yelena's heart was crushed and now she's going to hold onto this resentment forever.

Oh yeah, and (POISONOUS SARCASM) I love the part where no one told her that you and Bucky brought me back. She of all people should have been notified and included, Steve. Damn it, she probably wouldn't have gone into diabetic ketoacidosis, either. So no, this isn't the happiest picture of us. (BITES LIP) I hate it now. (REALIZING) She probably has it hanging up just to make me feel guilty and to rub it all in- like a constant, nagging reminder to eat at me.

STEVE:    (FROWNS. REACHES, PLACES HIS HAND ON TOP OF NAT'S THAT RESTS AT HER SIDE) You were a hero that day, Nat. We all know that-

NATASHA:    Don't go there, Steve. If you think that is going to make me feel better about myself, it's not. (PAUSES) What seemed so heroic to some nearly destroyed Yelena- And the worst part is that I wasn't there to help her pick up the broken pieces- instead was absent in the worst moments of her life. What I did, the choice I made, robbed her of her contagious, bright and carefree spirit that she always used to embody. It robbed her of her health. It robbed her of love. It left her alone in the world. And now... (VOICE BREAKS) She doesn't even look the same anymore. Now when I see her, it's like I'm looking at an empty shell of the sister I used to know.

STEVE:    (LISTENING INTENTLY. PICKS UP NAT'S HAND AND SQUEEZES IT)

NATASHA:    Rogers, I'm not a hero. All those years I spent 'Avenging'- trying to do good and wipe out the red in my ledger? (LOOKS DOWN AT HER AND STEVE'S ENTWINED HANDS) All of that is negated now. (WILLING HERSELF NOT TO SHOW WEAKNESS OR BREAKABILITY. COCKS HER HEAD AT STEVE, SEEING HE IS ABOUT TO OPEN HIS MOUTH TO SPEAK. QUICKLY CUTS HIM OFF)

No. (SHAKES HEAD A LITTLE) There is no inspirational 'Captain America Hero Speech' that can make any of this better, or that can make the collateral damage go away. Bottom line is I wasn't her hero that day. And am definitely not now.

STEVE:    (DEFEATED. KNOWS NATASHA IS TOO STUBBORN TO BE CONVINCED OTHERWISE. DECIDES AGAINST TRYING TO ARGUE THROUGH INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH. WRAPS HIS ARM AROUND HER. BRINGS HER CLOSE TO HIS SIDE- HOLDS HER AND COMFORTS HER, WITH NOTHING BUT PURE THOUGHTS AND MOTIVES. HE'S BEING THERE FOR HER WHERE WORDS ARE INSUFFICIENT.)

You are her hero. Why else do you think this affected her the way it has? (PAUSE. HE SEES A HINT OF A TEAR FLICKER IN ONE OF HER EYES.) Natasha, Yelena will come around. She's got a lot she's working through. Right now her way of protecting herself seems to be distancing herself from you. When she wants space, let her have it. But when she leans in to you and opens up... and takes even the tiniest steps to find her way back to you... be there for her and welcome her with open arms. And your amazing heart. Look, here's a start- If you want to keep blaming yourself... then the next reasonable step is to forgive yourself. It's okay.

NATASHA:    (MELTS IN STEVE'S ARMS. GUARDED LAYERS ARE SLOWLY FALLING, VISIBLY. SHE LAYS HER HEAD AGAINST STEVE'S CHEST, HOLDING ON TIGHT. TEARS COME) How do you know she'll come around? She has every reason to lock me out of her heart to defend her own. I'm afraid I put out her "shining light" for good- and that's not something worthy of forgiveness.

STEVE:    Trust me. You didn't put her light out for good. She's too resilient for that. You both are. (RUBBING HIS HAND OVER NATASHA'S BACK. WHISPERS.) I just know these things, and so do you. You know her. Better than anyone else could.

NATASHA:    (WRYLY) Apparently not. She said I "don't know her" and "-not to pretend that I do". (NOT LETTING GO OF STEVE, RELISHING HIS COMFORT. FOCUSING ON THE FEELING OF HIS HAND.) She's not coming back tonight.

STEVE:    (MATTER-OF-FACTLY) Firstly, She said that because, Number 1. she is hurting and bitter and Number 2. she was trying to test you and see if she could push you away. Secondly- don't worry. She will come back when she is ready. She's a big girl. Also, she's a lot like you. (SOFTLY GAZES DOWN AT NAT) You know where she is, don't you? (LIGHT CHUCKLE) Is she really that predictable?

NATASHA:    (SIGHS SHAKILY. NODS AGAINST STEVE'S HEART. LOOKS UP AT HIM, OPEN AND VULNERABLE. HER EYES LOCK WITH HIS.) She's not predictable, I just have a 'sister hunch'. Okay. I will wait for her and let her come to me on her terms, in her time... (LAPSE, A POST-TRAUMATIC LOOK FLASHES ACROSS NATASHA'S FACE) Steve?

STEVE:    Yes, Tasha?

NATASHA:    (GAZES UP INTO HIS EYES- A CONTRASTING PARALLEL TO THE WAY SHE LOOKED UP INTO CLINT BARTON'S EYES ON VORMIR) Don't let me go. Stay.

STEVE:    (NODS EARNESTLY, INNOCENTLY.) I'll stay. I'm never letting go, Natasha Romanoff. You're too priceless to ever be let go again. (BRUSHES A GENTLE HAND THROUGH HER FIERY HAIR. STILL JUST HOLDING HER. NATASHA CLOSES HER EYES AND SOON, FALLS ASLEEP AGAINST STEVE'S SHOULDER. STEVE LOOKS DOWN AT HER, SMILES EVER SO SLIGHTLY. HE GENTLY TUCKS A RED THROW BLANKET AROUND HER, CAREFUL NOT TO WAKE HER. AFTER A MOMENT, HE LOOKS BACK UP AT THAT INFAMOUS PICTURE ON THE WALL, DWELLING UPON IT.)

FADE OUT.

END OF SCENE #4B.