The knowledge of the mind

Chapter 4~ the beginning

TW mention of drug use

After the weird interaction, Lauren took her place in the lecture hall. She walked up the stairs where she wasn't too far back but she wasn't at the front. She started to take her pencil case out as well as her smoothie. She noticed that every action she took they were followed by the professors eyes. He looked at her with interest and what could be desire. Lauren thought to herself that she's over reacting and she needs to stop thinking about this. There was still 5 minutes till the lecture started and other students started to walk in.

She started to notice how many girls were in this class the other dressed more revealing than the other . She felt the twing In her stomach and noticed her knuckles were clenched. She didn't know what this feeling was and tried to snap herself out of this feeling and yet nothing worked. She decided to listen to some music before the lectured started. She opened her air pods and put them in. She opened her Spotify and scrolled till she found her favourite song, Experience by Ludovico Einaudi. She listened to modern music however something about this song was just so beautiful to her. The way the tempo changed and the mix between the instruments to create this blend of beauty. What Lauren would give to see it live, to feel the music and see this great composer perform. Finally the lecture was starting.

The lecture was on the fathers role of attachment. Lauren found this highly ironic and chuckled to herself. Professor Hiddleston noticed this and gave her a puzzled look, Lauren stopped giggling and shut down her smile immediately. To that professor Hiddleston smiled. Lauren couldn't help but think about how sweet and innocent he looked yet dangerous. She liked that. The lecture was pretty easy to Lauren as this topic was in her a level. She listened intently to every word he said making notes to correspond to what he was saying whilst adding her own personal notes. After finishing her paragraph, she looked up to listen to what he was going to say next. She found all the girls swooning over him like in the cringe romantic comedies you see on Netflix. One arm laid down whilst the other was holding their head up. She noticed there was a lot of swooning over every word he said yet they never even took a single note on the subject. Lauren was amused by this, she thought of how pathetic it was. Like seriously? You're paying for a degree and all you care about is picturing yourself with the professor doing god knows what. Pathetic. Lauren thought. But she too couldn't deny he was very good looking however, Lauren never let her feelings interrupt her learning. She cared more about her career than some stupid feelings.

Professor Hiddleston noticed the girls swooning over him and just sighed with disappointment and rolled his eyes. He looked up and noticed that Lauren was taking notes, actual notes. The only other students that actually took notes in his lessons were the males in his lessons. A sense of proudness filled his body, even though he had no reason to proud of her; he'd only known her for 30 minutes at the point and yet she was his favourite student. A sense of relief overwhelmed him knowing that someone was actually interested in the lecture. He had to remind himself that this will probably be the only lecture she attends which saddened him slightly. He thought to himself as to how he could get his other students involved. That's when it hit him. A debate! He knew that Lauren would be up for the challenge and there was a part of him that wanted her to show these sad girls up. Like seriously he though, I'm too old for them and besides, why would I even be interested in anyone that doesn't have a passion for the subject and most importantly, someone who doesn't even listen. He was about to put his plan into action and he couldn't wait.

Lauren had been waiting patiently for the professors next action. She noticed that he went up to the board and began to write. God even his handwriting was perfect she thought, but then quickly regained her composure. The professor wrote " DEBATE: do children growing up without fathers have a worse life? DISCUSS" . Lauren chuckled to herself thinking if we do this out loud I am going to destroy anyone who disagrees with me.  Professor Hiddleston noticed it but didn't react to it, he just thought about why this would amuse her. Then he realised, she grew up without a dad. This is going to get very interesting he though and smiled to himself. He really wanted to see Lauren in action; a soon to be barrister with an interest in psychology in a debate, deadly combination. He then picked on one of the day dreaming girls named Sophie. "Sophie." The girl, although more alert,was still entranced by the professor flirting said "yes professor" winking at him. Lauren scoffed with disgust thinking, she will never survive the first year and she needs to get her head out of the clouds. Professor Hiddleston then smiled but then his voice turned stern and authoritative, "you and all the rest of the girls except for Lauren, shouldn't be here. If you're not going to take notes and just daydream about me I suggest you leave unless you have anything to provide to this class and especially this debate!" Lauren smiled to herself, he recognised me working hard. This sense of joy grew warm in Lauren's chest. Sophie was taken aback and stood up to comment "yes professorrr so sorry, *she pouts*. I believe children that don't grow up with dads become depressed and ugly and don't know how to treat men right." Lauren was taken aback about how dumb and rude this bitch was. Professor Hiddleston noticed the twang of anger in Lauren's eyes and smiled. He responded "Lauren, care to argue?" Lauren smiled thinking [you have no idea how much I'm going to crush this girl]. Lauren stood up with a smirk ready to go into battle with the dimwit. "Well you see professor to base the ideology of beauty in the basis of a family upbringing is totally ridiculous and unscientific." Professor loved her start already, using proper terminology and stating facts. He asked her to continue and just smiled. "Gladly professor. See Sophie if you didn't already know, how a person looks is based upon their genetic, you know when mummy and daddy fall in love" she said mockingly, Tom was really enjoying this. Sophie snapped back with anger in her tone "yeh I know I'm not an ugly idiot like you, and you seemed to be acting like you don't even have a dad." Professor Hiddleston grew angry at the comment but before he could say anything, Lauren already started with her next point,;he was intrigued. "Well Sophie as you know, genetics create how you look. It has nothing to do with your upbringing, I agree to an extent that events in your life can cause you to change however, this is normally due to conditions such as body dysmorphia however, this is to do with societal views. An example would be social media, social media has a lot of young impressionable children believe that what they're seeing is prefect and they're not. It has nothing to do with whether a father figure is present or not. Also you'd be right in saying I don't have a dad. But that never affected the way I look because I do look like him and I can accept that unlike you who felt the need to get a nose job to make herself feel prettier." Sophie gasped and Tom chuckled to himself thinking about how interesting this is getting. Before Sophie could argue back Lauren chipped in " also to assume that depression is caused by children brought up without fathers is a very vague claim as many other factors can cause depression such as biological and chemical factors. Depression has been linked to genetics that family members have shared. Further more, drug usage has also been linked to causing depression but you'd know a lot about that wouldn't you Sophie, snorting ket off your key in the club to make you feel something [lauren decided to profile her for the fun of it and to shut her up, Lauren doesn't mind talking about not growing up with a dad but she won't stand for it to be used as an insult against her, ever]  because  Sophie, you need to feel something because although your parents are both married, they're very unhappy and they stay together for your sake but, you've seen the signs over the years of them drifting and only acting happy when you're there. You notice that when your father is away for work your mum is happier. You have the suspicion both your parents are having an affair, but instead of facing the reality that your parents being together despite hating each other is affecting you and your ability to love and form proper connections, you snort, smoke and swallow drugs to push the intrusive thoughts down and to keep your denial up". Sophie was stunned and very pissed off all she could muster was " WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU THAT YOU FUCKING BITCH" Lauren just smirked. Tom knew he had to jump in before Sophie tried to rip Lauren's throat out. " alright alright enough. Lauren very well argued well done. Sophie on the other hand [disapproving tone] your argument was flimsy and weak and as for what Lauren said to her, you punched first and you can't expect someone not to swing back. That doesn't however excuse what she said but, she wins the argument, it was flawless however the personal comments didn't need to be added" he tried to look stern at Lauren, but all he could be was happy that someone finally shut her up.

After the debate, they went back to taking notes. Tom noticed that Sophie was giggling and looking at Lauren. She was planning something. Tom wanted to jump in but he knew perfectly well that Lauren could fight her own battles and wouldn't need him to help her. He was also shocked at how well Lauren profiled Sophie, he'd never seen someone with such a raw talent for it, it was incredible. He felt a sense of desire to want to mentor her and just to be around her. She was addictive her attitude, her smell and not to mention her beauty and intelligence. He just wanted to be around her and just listen to her about her theories and beliefs and anything you could think of. Sophie raises her hand into the air [ for god sake, what could this twit possibly want] he thought to himself but regained his professionalism and said " yes Sophie" with a sigh. She responded quite flirty to the professor asking " professorrrr I was wondering if you could pleaseeeee come explain what this means in the text book" she gave him a wink and that made Lauren angry, very angry. Lauren thought to herself that if Sophie spent as much time on her work as she does her make up, then maybe she wouldn't need help and she could actually do good. Professor Hiddleston reluctantly walked up the steps to go aid her. As soon as he got to where she was, she judged her bottle and water spilt over professor Hiddleston causing his once white t shirt to go transparent. She giggled and looked up at him with puppy dog eyes saying "oops I didn't mean to sir I'm sorry"  Lauren knew all too well she did mean to do it. As much as she found him attractive she felt as though this was getting on the verge of sexual harassment. She just wanted ti see how Professor Hiddleston would react. He scoffed in anger muttering under his breath stupid idiot and proceed to try and try himself off. Sophie tried to assist him but he's just swat her hand away each time. He looked at her and said to her " don't ever bring a drink into my class again if you can't help but spill it over me". He was frustrated to be as exposed as he was, he didn't want anymore girls gawking. He turned his back and walked back down to the front. He looked to his left and noticed that Lauren was just writing her notes, not looking, not staring, just getting on with the work. It made his anger simmer a bit, knowing that someone actually cares about his teachings and not him. He knew he couldn't carry the lecture on with a soaked t shirt and trousers so decided to end the lecture an hour early. The girls were very disappointed except for Lauren. She sat in her seat still writing notes up despite the professor not saying anything. He was puzzled and intrigued.