Waiting for Never - Post Malone

Circles

The next two weeks are mechanical, each day is a repeat of the next. Austin never sleeps in the bed, choosing a couch, spare bed, or even a cold hard floor. Marli, still holding on to some type of hope stays in Austin's bed, but the dogs are her only source of comfort. She wakes every morning at 5:15 am with the dogs and leaves the house for a jog with them. When she is back it's the task of getting Austin out of his hangover - strip, shower, dress, coffee, vomit, coffee - in that order. Then he will leave with Jonas for the day while Marli and Lou continue with Marli's PA duties. Then late at night, Marli lies awake in bed waiting for the distinctive banging around that alerts her that Austin is home. She climbs out of bed and usually sits at the bottom of the stairs until she hears the bottle fall out of his hands as he falls asleep in a drunken stupor. She then tucks him into the sofa, bed, or floor with warm blankets. They don't speak unless it's about work and even then is short sharp sentences.

"You contacted the lighting people as I asked?"

"Yes I did, Austin. It's all good to go."

"Thank you."

It's as if he had never buried himself between her thighs. They are strangers. If there is an event Austin is sure to keep Marli out of any pictures and at least two people between them at all times until he insists she not attend at all. He is punishing her - there can be no other reason. He writes a song too and Marli regrets her choice of sitting in the studio just to be near him because she hears the song. He only grunts and shrugs when Jonas asks him who it's about, but Marli catches his quick side-eye in her direction. It should be any girl's dream to have a song written about her, but the lyrics make her feel sick. It speaks of love going cold, moments being nothing special - only sex and wanting to run away. There is one line where it is clear that he feels she does not know what he is going through - this hurts, she has tried and he has pushed her away. He is blaming her and now punishing her for things he is in control of. She seeks a demo copy and listens to it on repeat, she cries every time she listens to it. Pathetic. She can feel her heart breaking and it causes her physical pain.

Then comes the interview...

Austin goes on a talk show. It starts out light-hearted and Marli is enjoying the sound of Austin's laugh albeit fake. Then the host asks Austin if he is single. He says he is. This is true. She asks if he is looking for love. He says, "aren't we all?" Again this is true. Then she asks if he is ready to settle down and he says that he is young and enjoying the pleasures of life. Classic PR answer. But then she asks if he has ever been in love. Now, there are two ways to answer this question he could be honest and go straight for yes or no. Or he could be sly and answer this question with another question or a PR answer. What Austin chooses to do kills Marli. He chooses honesty. He looks in the direction he knows Marli is seated and simply says no.

"No."

And just like that Marli has the answer to the question she was always too scared to lay out. On the way out to the car, Austin silently hands her his ringing phone. When she takes it she sees it's her mother. She knows her mother watched the interview and she is phoning for some answers. She is not one to break things but she just feels so betrayed and cast aside and so against her better judgment she throws Austin's phone back at him, intentionally missing him, both her and Austin watch as it flies past him and smashes into a million pieces on the grey concrete of the parking lot. He gives her a pointed look but says nothing. Marli needs to calm her shit down so she turns and walks off down the street with Lou trailing behind her. Once home, Marli moves back into a spare room, dogs in tow and Austin sleeps in his bed again after drinking more than he has in years. Marli sneaks into his room after he passes out to clean up his sick and make sure he is safe. Their relationship is toxic at the moment and Marli can see both of them drowning in it. They are ripping each other apart. She has come to learn that when it comes to Austin - the highs are too high and the lows are too low. But she can't leave...who would look after him? So she stays.