Waiting for Never - Post Malone

I Fall Apart

The atmosphere in New York feels electric and Marli has to remind herself to breathe every now and then. She knows why too.

Austin is in New York...

She is going to go to his show tonight. She doesn't know why to be honest, maybe for some closure? It's going to be crazy seeing him in person even if it's from a distance, she hasn't seen him in two years. Well, she has seen him on social media or TV although she does try and avoid anything about him as much as possible. But she does know that the past two years have been really big for him and she can't help but feel proud of him. She heard he has been clean, for real, clean as a whistle for the past 18 months. Six months after she left him the media had an absolute field day with him. He went on the rest of his world tour, it was a mess. He was high and drunk during most of his shows and fans started a #saveAustin movement. After three months the tour was canceled and then Austin disappeared off the face of the earth for three months and his fans started a #findAustin movement. He surfaced only once during those three months and that was to release a song. Just one song. Marli knew the song was about her, the things he said in the song were untrue and unfair but still, his words cut deep. They were scathing and laced with venom and directed straight at her. Jonas had tried to phone her after the song's release, but she had chosen to ignore his call. There was no point in a conversation, Austin had made his feelings about Marli very clear in his song. He hated her. She hated herself - she had betrayed Austin by leaving him after she promised she never would. She deserved those treacherous words.

Those first six months had been agony for Marli being half the world away and watching Austin trash his shows one after the other. To see picture after picture of him falling out of nightclubs and bars looking like a scarecrow, drunk and dirty. She went and had the picture of Austin reprinted and framed, the one from Christmas, the one year that she had kept on her bedside just as a reminder of who the real Austin was. She had left her original print in her sock drawer when she left the Utah house, just couldn't bear having it with her at the time.  The three months Austin was MIA had Marli ready to throw in the towel and go find him, but where? He could be anywhere in the world. Lou had assured her that Max, Jack and even Jonas were looking for him and the best thing for her to do was to stay away and after she had heard his song she knew it would have been a mistake to go looking for him. She would have driven him deeper into whatever dark place he was curled up in. The thing was though she had already known where he was. She had sent Jonas Austin's address in New York. She never got a reply from Jonas but shortly afterward it was announced that Austin had booked himself into rehabilitation and asked for privacy during this difficult time. His fans made a #westandwithAustin movement. It went quiet after that. She heard nothing. For the next year, there was very little about Austin in the media and Marli was grateful for it. It helped her get herself better and helped her move on. In that year she had moved out of her parent's apartment and into her own. She had found a job at a law firm. She also helped her brother set up his art stand every Saturday morning near Central Park. She rekindled her old friendships that she had neglected and then she met Toby.

Sweet Toby.

He is a teacher at a hearing-impaired school and has a heart of gold. Her friends had set them up on a blind date ten months ago, she had not wanted to go but after five minutes with Toby she had been laughing, genuinely laughing and it felt good. They had clicked and started dating almost immediately. The relationship was safe and Toby was sweet. Toby was romantic, the chocolate and flowers type. After five months of dating, Toby asked Marli to move in with him. Marli is happy, she has moved on and her memories of Austin sometimes feel like a fever dream. Like it never happened, even though at times she can still feel traces of him on her skin, and once or twice she has smelt that oakwood and leather scent in the air.