Every Bright and Broken Thing

Chapter Twenty-Seven - Liam

Off to the side of the stage, we wait for the green light to perform. Every bench in the amphitheater is taken. Some even stand on the outer edges of the aisles to watch.

Mumford & Sons is scheduled to perform after us tonight. Watching them from my place in the shadows as they set up their gear, my heart soars. It sets my nerves on edge too because now I realize that they're going to see me perform. I swallow, more nervous now than ever before.

In my pocket, my phone buzzes and I pull it out, click it on. My entire body goes tense as I read the message on the screen.

BLOCKED NUMBER: I know who you are, faggot.

Terrified that someone else might see the message over my shoulder, I swipe to delete it. The noise around me growers louder. I struggle to think who would possibly do this. First, the locker graffiti. Now this? Why? What do they want? What do they even hope to gain? But I don't have time to figure it out because Theo's calling me to the stage. It's time for us to perform, but I can't move.

Theo furrows his brow and grabs me by the shoulder, yanking me forward. In a daze, I follow him to the stage.

Pull yourself together.

"Let's do this thing," Theo says when we're halfway up the stairs, holding out a fist.

Jace, Will, and I tap our fists against his and they let out a holler as we take the stage. In an instant, the wind is knocked out of me as I stand face to face with hundreds – maybe thousands – of roaring fans. I don't belong here, on this stage, with these people. I'm a fraud and suddenly I feel like the whole world knows and there's no more point in hiding it.

I step to the microphone, taking in a slow, shaky breath. My friends take their places on the stage. I reach for my guitar and nearly fall over as the world around me spins. Between the roar of the crowd and the blinding lights and the pounding of my own heart, panic grips me and I freeze with my arm half extended to my guitar on its stand.

After a second, "Liam, you okay?"

I turn my head to see Theo staring down at me, an eyebrow cocked. I blink.

"Liam," he says, quiet but forceful.

I nod to him and say, "I'm okay," then retrieve my guitar and step to the microphone.

"Good evening, everybody," I say with as best a smile as I can muster. "I just wanted to say that it's really, really great to be here. This is a truly amazing experience and we're just so grateful that we get to be a part of it. We are... Liam and the Landmarks."

A thunderous cheer erupts as we count into our opening song, "Good-Bye." On the guitar, I play the intro melody, fingers trembling slightly. But as I begin to lose myself in the music, I start to forget that I'm not the only one here. As I sing, it become easier to breathe. The music – the melody, the lyrics – becomes oxygen under the light of the Colorado night sky.

I've already said my goodbyes.

Please don't cry.

This is my time.

Breathe.

I've stayed for far too long.

Please understand.

I'm moving on.

Breathe.

'Cause the further, further away I get from you,

it gets easier to breathe.

And the closer, closer I get to who I used to be,

it gets easier to believe.

Breathe.