Every Bright and Broken Thing

4 Years Ago - Ezra

I couldn't hear myself think as I made my way through the party, downing another red Solo cup. The bitter drink drowns out the noise and makes all the colors in the room seem just a little bit brighter. Somewhere in the throng of raving students, Jason was likely making out with some girl while he held another girl in his other arm. I lifted the cup in a silent toast to whatever conquests awaited him.

Everything screamed around me. Some band I didn't know played some song I didn't know, but it helped me to forget about my past due school payments and the classes I was flunking. At least for tonight, I didn't have to remember. I could forget.

Plopping down on a torn leather couch, I watched the band through the tangle of sweaty bodies as they gyrated to the music. I shook my head and wondered at the people who thought they could dance when, in reality, they could not.

As I took a drink, some girl sat down beside me. Dressed in a yellow halter top and booty shorts, she laughed in conversation with two of her friends. She seemed completely unaware of my presence because she flailed her beer around like I wasn't there. I tried to ignore her, but when she spilled her beer on my lap, I couldn't keep quiet.

"Hey!" I shouted, staring down at my beer-stained jeans.

She spun to meet me, mouth open. "Oh, no! I'm so sorry," she slurred. She grabbed her denim jacket and dabbed at my jeans. I jumped as she made contact. The party, with all its sounds and lights and inappropriate touching, was beginning to overwhelm me.

Sighing, "It's... fine. I guess that's a sign that I should just go home. Thanks for giving me an excuse." I smirked.

She stood. "I'm so sorry." Our eyes met and we lingered there, looking at each other. A light – a golden glow – twinkled in her vision and I felt like I might drown in it. That was probably the beer talking.

"I'm Ezra," I said, a hand extended.

"Elaine." She smiled and shook it.

"Elaine. I like it. Very Old Testament."

She laughed. "You're one to talk."

Shrugging, "Fair enough. Hey, do you want to go somewhere more private? It's crazy in here."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

We pushed our way through the crowd and found a room upstairs where we sat down on the edge of the bed. I shifted nervously.

"So, tell me about yourse–"

She kissed me, ebbing the flow of words that hung unspoken on my lips.

I lost myself. There was something wild about her. Something more intoxicating than the beer. She wasn't like the other girls. She didn't make me want to forget.

She made me want to remember.

And that terrified me.

So, when I woke up beside her, I grabbed my clothes and ran before she could wake up too.

I wasn't ready to remember.