Every Bright and Broken Thing

Chapter Forty-Five - Liam

When Ezra gets back to the hospital, his fists are cracked and covered in blood. I suspect that most of it isn't his. Dad tries to ask what happened, but Ezra promises he'll tell him later.

For the next two days, I sleep. A lot. For the first time in two years, I'm not afraid to close my eyes. I'm not afraid of what I might see. Instead while I sleep, I dream. Which is strange because I can't remember the last time I dreamed. Even as I doze in and out of sleep, surrounded by phantoms that resemble Dad, Ezra, and a strange girl with a chocolate smile, I somehow remember my dream.

I was on an island. No one else. Just me. Behind me, the waves lapped gently at the shore. Above me, the sun shone bright and radiated a pleasant warmth. Before me, a jungle sprawled and the trees turned to mountains as rivers divided the earth between them.

As I stumbled closer to the jungle, eyes fixed on the tropical plants with their giant leaves, I noticed the strangest thing of all. The trees didn't cast shadows. Not a single one. Even as the sun shone down on them at an angle, there was no shadow. And then I noticed that I didn't have a shadow either. I looked straight up at the sun and realized I didn't need to squint. It was almost like the light was smiling down on me. And I smiled back because I finally found a place where shadows don't exist.

I woke just as I dove into the jungle. As soon as I pulled myself upright in bed, I wrote the dream down in my phone. And as I write, I realize – the kind of realization that feels like letting out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding for a long, long time – that I finally found the answer.

I read it over and over until I'm sure. This is it. This is the song that will save my life.

There's a map behind my eyes

I've stumbled on my own paradise

I'm waking up to a world so alive

where time stands still

and we are made of light

I'm breaking out of this box

I've been stuck inside

I'm dreaming deeper and deeper,

not afraid to close my eyes

I go there in my dreams

Let the wild lead

Where light will never bleed

And shadows go extinct

I'm waking up

out of the dust

Dreaming of

paradise behind my eyes

Just as I finish writing, the doctor comes in to check on me. She says that, if I feel ready, we can go home tonight.

"I'm ready," I say without hesitation.

She smiles, nods. Dad pulls the doctor to the side to talk. Meanwhile, Ezra stays by my side. He doesn't say much. He mostly just looks off somewhere in the distance. His friend peeks in from her place outside my room.

She smiles, eyes bright, and extends a hand to me as I sit on the edge of the hospital bed.

"I'm Elaine," she says.

I take her hand in mine and offer a smile. "Liam."

"It's nice to meet you, Liam. I've heard a lot about you."