Every Bright and Broken Thing

Chapter One - Liam

Sometimes I forget what it's like to dream. I guess I just get so caught up in...

everything...

And there's no more room for dreaming.

It's sad, really. In a way, I'm used to it. Numb to it. Dreaming seems pointless when your mind is restless.

With a shiver, I suddenly forget how I got here. The streetlights flicker above me as I stagger along the sidewalk, almost slipping on the wet concrete. It's raining, but only lightly. The moon peers through the dark clouds just enough to send an eerie glow dancing on the raindrops. I'm wet, but I don't feel it. I don't feel the cold even though it burns inside of me. It's like my entire body is numb, numb, numb, and I can't feel a thing.

I can't feel a thing.

I laugh. I don't know why I'm laughing, but at the time it seems like the best thing to do. The only thing to do.

Laugh, laugh, laugh into the night.

Cry, cry, cry into the light.

I do that too. Eyes lifted to the flickering lights, I blink back the rain, or my tears – or both – as I clutch the half-empty bottle of Blue Moon like it's a lifeline. Memories of all the things that have and haven't happened crash against me like brittle waves.

The street is empty. It's just the moon and I and that's the way it's always been. That's the way it'll always be. Nothing could ever change that.

nothing, nothing, nothing

changing, changing, changing

Nothing changes.

I trip.

The ground rises to meet me and I'm on my knees, vomiting endlessly. My stomach twists inside of me, struggles to escape its prison. I cough. It burns.

As I stagger to my feet, the bottle slips from my fingers and shatters across the sidewalk. Eyes wide and sad, I give it one last look. There was still some left, but now it spills into the gutter and mingles with the rainwater.

Ahead, a police cruiser is parked along the street. It seems like a good idea at the time, so I unzip my pants and relieve myself on the hood.

Mistake.

But mistakes don't make me laugh like this.

The stranger in the shadows isn't laughing, though.

Light. Blinding light stops me mid-pee and I try to shield my eyes with my arm.

"What do you think you're doing?" says the stranger behind the light.

I shrug.

"Alright, son. Zip up your pants and put your hands behind your head."

I do as he says. His voice gives me the impression he's not here for a good time. Not like I am.

"Do you see the light?" I ask, shielding my eyes with a shaky arm as I try to make out the man behind the light. It seems to hover around the stranger's head like a tiny guardian angel.

"Sure, son. I see the light. Now, keep your hands where I can see 'em. We're gonna take a little ride, alright?"

"Okay," I say. The stranger wraps my wrists in steel behind me and lets me climb into the back of his car. I think we might be going somewhere fun. I hope so.