Another Version of A Lamb's Love

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I stared at the pale, white ceiling as a low, constant beeping floated around the silent room. I took in a deep breath, wheezing as a cough erupted from my throat. I could feel my strength fleeing from me with each breath that I took.  

I glanced towards the door as the sound of the shuffling of a child's feet echoed down the empty hallway. He stood there, surrounded by the dim light of the corridor, accompanied by his mother. He walked towards me slowly and took hold of my hand ever so gently as if it was made of delicate glass.  

"Daddy, you're going to be alright, right?" he asked me. The look on his face made my heart break. It was full of sorrow and sadness. I just wanted to say that everything would be ok and that I would be home soon but I just couldn't. I couldn't lie to him but I couldn't bear the thought that very soon my son would be fatherless.  

"Ben, daddy isn't going to be alright and daddy isn't going to get better." I said as nicely as I could. I tried hard to keep the tears in, to not show Ben how weak I was but I couldn't. The tears escaped out the side of my eyes. The thought that my son, who I loved so much would soon be fatherless tore my heart apart. I looked at him and saw the only thing that could make my heart break even more, a tear trailing down his face. 

"Ben, it's going to be ok. You still have mum and Sarah. You just won't have dad. Dad will live in your memories and in your heart." I said to him.  

"Yes, daddy." he said, sadly. As I watched him sitting there holding my hand, my eyes brimmed with fresh tears.  

"Remember when you had your 4 year old birthday party and it was a dress up party? Do you remember what I dressed up as?" I asked him, desperate to put a smile on his sad face.  

"You dressed up as a pirate. But you forgot to talk like one so you weren't a very good pirate." he smiled although his smile had a hidden sadness behind it.  

"Yes, I wasn't." I agreed. I looked down at his face to see his eyes drooping and a small yawn emitting out of his mouth  

"Ben, do you want to sleep now?" I asked him softly.  

"No. I want to talk to you." he whispered, his voice full of love. "Where are you going, daddy? Robert at school said that unicorns come and take you away. Are you going to be taken away by unicorns?" he asked innocently. He was the picture of a lamb, pure and naïve but I already burst his bubble once. I wasn't going to do it again and tell him that no, I wasn't going to be taken away by unicorns.  

"Yes Benny, I'm going to be taken away by unicorns and so will you, so don't worry. I will see you again." I said as nicely as I could.  

"Daddy, can I sleep here tonight? Please?" he asked, his puppy-dog eyes staring at me pleadingly.  

"Sure, Ben." I moved over as much as I could without disturbing the wires draped over my body. I watched as he gently climbed onto my bed and snuggled into my side.  

"I love you, daddy." he whispered.  

"I love you too, Ben." I said, then closed my eyes for the last time, holding my son in my arm.

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