TIRED | Kelly Foster

8. Fine

Another one. Who am I posting two days in a row. I guess I'm making up for the fact that I didn't post a chap since August. 😬

Kelly cooked us all a diner of frozen pizza and some random stuff in the fridge. It obviously wasn't the best meal and we all knew it but I was thankful nonetheless.

After diner I sat at the table with Kelly not talking but occasionally glancing at each other.

It seemed like temporarily all the worries that had been swarming my mind like bees had dissolved into nothingness and I only focused on her. Everything about her was perfect. But every time I thought about that I shook it away because I don't have time for feelings like that. Not that I have feelings for her, I just have appreciation for her from one woman to another.

I had been staring at my bowl of stale cereal that was a the side with our diner full of random things for too long apparently and she became concerned.

"You okay?" She said softly.

"Yeah I'm totally fine" I lied.

"No you're not." She replied. "You're not okay at all, are you?"

"I said I was fine, why don't you believe me?" I said growing frustrated. Im not mad at her i'm just mad because everything seems to be falling apart and I have no control over it.

"Because I wouldn't be fine if I was you." She paused, waiting to see if I replied. When I didn't she continued. "Look I know that everything that is going on is hard. Ben..jamin is spending all of the money and not getting any back. You never see your mom anymore, Dylan is a teenage boy and doesn't talk to anyone and you feel alone most of the time. I get it. My friends are all out at parties and I'm here shoveling shit. I understand how you feel because I feel it too." She took a minute to take a sip of coffee. "But just because you family isn't as close right now doesn't mean you are alone. You have Rhonda, Ernesto, Nathan, god you even have crystal the monkey. I mean Rhonda isn't really the nicest person so maybe stay away from her but you have us. You have me."

God she is so well spoken. No one has ever talked to me like that. The rasp in her voice made it 100 times better. She talked to me like we were equal. She didn't think she was better than me. She didn't think that she needed to over explain everything to me like dad did. She just talked to me like we were two old friends catching up.

"Thanks" is all I managed to say.

"For what? I didn't do anything?" She looked at me confused.

"For being here" my voice cracked as I said it and I looked down at my bowl again

"I'm always going to be here." She stood up and I thought she was going to walk out the door but she came over and wrapped her arms around my neck while gently pulling me up to stand and embraced me in a big hug.

We stood there hugging for a couple minutes while she breathed in my ear and I calmed down. I felt truly vulnerable for the first time in a while. I had let my guard down completely and it killed me to do so but I kept it down. At least for now. The door opened and only then did we slowly pull apart.

Seeing it was my dad she looked me deep in the eyes and nodded and walked out the door without any further words and I was left once again in silence.

Suddenly I came back to reality to see my dad angrily throwing a banana in the fridge.

"Dad bananas don't go in the frid- you know what forget it." I said trailing off and trudged up the stairs to my room.

I heard him yell something from downstairs as I walked to my room but I ignored him because he seemed either incredibly angry or incredibly drunk. Or both.

When I got to my room I layed in my bed and stared out the window across from it.

I thought about everything that happened since we arrived here at the zoo and I sighed.

I'm not mad that we moved into the zoo. I'm not mad that we moved into the zoo. I'm not mad that we moved into the zoo. I'm not mad that we moved into the zoo.

I really wanna believe that. I really really wanna believe that. It's not like I liked my life before and I don't really like it now but I guess the zoo is growing on me. I don't know why exactly. Maybe because of the animals, Spar, nature, the carefree aspect of it. Or maybe a certain blonde hair badass zoo keeper was the reason. I don't know. Only time will tell. But for now I curled up with my feet at the headboard and my head at the foot of the bed and watched the trees blow in the hit summer breeze and saw the occasional peacock walk by or hear the roar of a lion. The zoo really was growing on me.

"Who are you watching creep?"

A/N: heyyyy *laughs in please DONT hate me for not updating since August* anyways finals are happening. Today I had my first final. I had religion. Ugh I hate religion it's so boring but I think I did really well. Anyway have a good day. Also if your a marvel fan talk to me abt Hawkeye in the comments if you want. 🤟

Peace
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