TIRED | Kelly Foster

9. Finally

"Certainly not you," I replied.

"And why would that be?"

"Well you aren't very good looking for starters," I said sarcastically.

"Oh really?" she laughed

"Yeah, nothing too special." I said. That was a complete lie. Kelly was one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. But I didn't really want her to know that.

She rolled her eyes and huffed.

"Why are you still up?" She questioned.

"Can't sleep." It isn't that I can't sleep, it's that I don't want to. When you sleep you are left with only one thing to do which is think, and when I think, I become a mess. Being left alone with a stranger can be scary but I almost feel like being left alone with yourself is scarier.

"Mhm" pause. "Anything I can do?" she said, her voice genuine.

"I don't think so." what I really want is a normal fucking family and a normal brain and normal interests. To be a normal kid but when your dad is Benjamin Mee, that isn't an option.

"Do you want me to come snuggle with you until you fall asleep like I do with rosie?" She said, cracking herself up.

I mean...

No. The answer is no. But it would be funny to see what she did. So what the heck.

"I mean I'm down" I said after a second of thought.

She seemed startled. But she smiled after a while and told me to meet her outside. And i did.

I quietly grabbed a sweatshirt and blanket and snuck past my dad who was passed out on the couch and outside to the area by my window where she was.

I was embraced as soon as I walked around the corner and relaxed into it which I never do.

I feel safe with her. I know she won't hurt me on purpose and that is a good feeling. I don't really have anyone else in my life that is like that. There is always a fear of pain and loss and that scares me and makes me hesitant to ever start relationships.

She pulled away and looked me in the eyes and as cheesy as it sounds I think I realized that I liked her more than just a friend right in that exact moment. And I don't know what compelled me to do so but I leaned in and kissed her.

Her lips were soft and felt good against mine but once I realized what was happening I pulled away only to be pulled back in and have my lips smashed against hers again.

It was euphoric.

She kissed me so hard. She  was making me go crazy. Her hands were in my hair and mine were on the back of her neck. She tangled and pulled at my hair as she got more aggressive with the kiss.

I was nervous she was going to stop and reject me, but she didn't and we just stood there behind the house away from everyone and everything and we kissed. She kissed me and I kissed her and I loved every second of it.

But I was running out of air and so was she so we pulled away breathing hard and staring at each other and then without another word we walked to our separate houses and separate rooms and went to sleep with smiles on our faces.

The only thing on my mind was the kiss. How it felt, what it could have turned into, what it will become, what it meant, when will it happen again... If it will happen again. I don't know any of it. It's all unknown and that's scary.

hehehehe
Peace
-I