Third Devil Tears

The F*cked Up System

High school, the worst fucking period of your life. Where you will be judged by your appearance. Where the drama will fill your head with anxiety. Where you should be worrying about schoolwork, but aren't. Where you will probably not love any of the people around you. Where you will spend most of your days, wishing you were somewhere else. Where you will possibly make friends but, definitely make enemies. THE MOST FAKEST PLACE YOU WILL EVER ENCOUNTER.

You will worry about social issues. Meeting a high expectation that is already set for you. Learning things that you will not need in real life. The amount of homework that is really unnecessary and stressing about grades. Dealing with stress, even though you will be told that you should not be stressing about anything; since all you do is go to school and you are not paying any bills nor working. You will face a lot of stigmas and for what?

You will not even learn about the basis of making money; how to invest and make more money, how to become rich and/or financially free; how to break generational curses. No, you will learn about how to further your education to become a lawyer, doctor, engineer, pilot etc. Which will require more years of education and for what. Because you won't be financially free from that, you will be drowning in debt with all of the student loans; wishing that you had a life jacket on, to at least float the surface.

You will lack sleep, trying to educate yourself on how to get out of these debts, that you placed yourself in. All because in high school you were taught, that these were the careers that will make you rich. When they are suppose to teach you about the basis of money and how you do not need to go to university to become rich. That it is not a requirement to become financially free. But, they won't do that and never will because essentially the school system is a fucking business, at the end of the day.

In high school, there was always those groups of cliques. Whoever you were back in high school, there was a specific group for you. The ones that are just like you as a person. Wherever you fit in back then, is who you stayed with for the rest of you high school career; unless something changes that. This is where you would make your friends and feel like you belonged somewhere.

Well, this was not really the case for me. In my high school, there was the popular, jocks, floaters, good-ats, middle of the field, fine-arts kids, the brains, normal, stoners, bottom-ladder cliques, emo/goths, anime/manga fans, loners and ethnics group. Which group did you fall into?

I did not belong anywhere because even though I was classified as a loner, I did not necessarily want to be one. I was not content with being alone or by myself.

Loners were and are naturally, at the bottom of the social ladder. This was because everyone else in the other groups or cliques, felt standoffish or feared this specific group. Reason being, was because they tend to be the ones that have school-shootings. They love to be alone or would rather have their own company. I wanted to have friends but, I was never accepted into the other groups. No one wanted to be my friend and that is why I never felt like I belonged here; especially in school.

I always tried to interact with other students but, it was like they avoided me like a plague. Like I was some kind of threat to them. The only persons who even spoked to me at school, were the teachers and that's only because I was a student. This made me sad and mad all at the same time. What was so wrong with me, that no one wanted any association or to even be seen around me. Did I do something in the past, that rubbed them off the wrong way? To this day, I still question myself; why was I such an outcast, in a place that was suppose to make me feel like I belonged somewhere.

I did all my school work and I was never behind in any of my classes. I was a straight A's student and I made sure to always be on time, for all my classes. I was doing so well in school, that I was taking AP classes. But, I guess doing all this made me more of an outcast. Everyone probably thought that I viewed myself as better than them but, that was never the case. I had a set goal and that was to get away from my father and the only way I can do so, was to do really well in school. I didn't have the luxury nor could I afford university all on my own. So, I had to resort to other means that can get me there.