Third Devil Tears

Wrecked

'She was powerful, not because she wasn't scared but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear.' - Atticus

When you hear about a woman being sexually assaulted, raped or abused; what is the first thought that comes into your head? Or how do you think a survivor may feel or how much of their persona may change after experiencing such trauma? What do you think their coping mechanism may be after?

Every survivor is different, I say survivor because even men are being sexually assaulted and abused. Some men are taken for granted and are used as if they are disposable, like the trash in our garbage cans. So, this doesn't just happen to women alone; some men may experience it too. It just so happens that women may experience it more than men do. There is also the case that most men are ashamed to speak up and say that these things has happened to them, or that they are going through such traumas as well. They are afraid that they won't be believed or that they would face ridicule for speaking out. They feel embarrassed because society has labelled men as the 'stronger' beings, so why would they experience these things if they are indeed stronger than women?

The fact is that anyone can become a survivor from trauma, whatever it may be. Gender roles has nothing to do with this and never will. There is no such thing as one being stronger than the other. Whether it may be that you are a woman or a man, your trauma does not define who you are as a person. This should not rule out who you become in the future or ruin your life. This should make you stronger and make you want to spread awareness because you would never want this to happen to your neighbor.

Yes, healing takes time and everyone is different. The amount of time that you take to heal your wounds won't be the same as someone else's. Also, a persons coping mechanism isn't the same as someone else's. You are the one who chooses how long you need to heal and what you need in order to heal!

Yes, there are people out in this world that can help a person heal; like a therapist etc. They can help you speak your thoughts openly, without any judgement and/or sympathy if that is something that you are not looking for. But, they can not tell you what to do in order to heal. All they could do is advise you on the things that you can do, to cope. But, at the end of the day; it is your choice. Just like how it is your choice if you want to speak your truth and your story, because no one is pressuring you to do something that you are not comfortable with.

At the end of the day, this is something that you went through. Thus, it is only fair that you are also the judge, the jury, and so be it the executioner too; if this is what you wish! Because you are the victim in your story and you did not choose to be in that predicament, they made that choice for you.

It was not because of something you wore, or what you said, or how you looked. It was not because of who you are to them, or how you reacted to something that they said, or how you did not agree to something that they did. It was not because you provoked them, or because you carry yourself a certain way, it was not even about the profession that you are in. IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, BUT ALL THEM.

There was nothing that you could of done, that warranted them leeway for coming close to you; in a manner that you did not ask for. There is no justification in the actions that they took because every man (both female and male), have a mind of their own and they have the choice on every action that they take. They are sick and twisted for even coming close to your personal space without your consent, so don't you ever think it was because of something that you did.

This is my truth and my story. What I went through, I would not wish it upon my worse enemy. Ever since I casted my first breath into this world, I was filled with nothing but pain, remorse, sadness, despair etc. I never thought that after everything I have been through, that I would have to face something like this in my life; on top of everything else. I just couldn't catch a break and I don't think I ever will. Because it is me, I am Ophelia Snow and this is the life that was written for me; years before I was even a sperm cell in my father's sac. Everything has a reason, I am not saying that this was suppose to happen because no one is cruel enough to wish trauma on to someone else; even a God. So, I do not blame my God for this, I only blame mankind for being so cruel.