Never Let Them Define You

FINDING GUIDANCE

Her mother clicks the lock, then turns around and smiles at her. "It'll be quieter here...and more private."

The room has tasteful white and gold wallpaper, all the metal shines, and she notices an intricately-crafted, redwood grandfather clock. "Wow, that's beautiful." The hands are spotless brass and they swing back and forth effortlessly.

"Knew you'd love that; one of my favorite things about this hotel."

"You're not saying they have those in every room?"

"Oh, no, but they have some in a few rooms, and each one is made from a different wood." She sits down next to her on the bed. "Now, what's on your mind?"

"Everyone's been telling me I should get famous."

"What do you think?"

"I don't want to, not at all, really."

"Why?"

"I don't want to sell myself based on vanity."

"Do you think that's all fame is?"

"That and making a killing off confusing the hell out of the world."

She shakes her head and takes her hand. "That's what I used to think, too; probably why you think that. It's not true, art is art, and the size of your audience has no effect on your creativity. I thought writing might get harder, I mean, it did at first, but after a while, the novelty of it all wears off. You're just an 'artist' now, but then you'll get famous and think of yourself as a 'famous person,' and eventually you'll be a 'famous artist.' It cancels out; at the end of the day, you'll always be a person and an artist. It's one in the same, so no one can take either away from you."

"But what about when people question why I'm famous? How do I defend that? Isn't it harder to keep it up?"

"I guess it's hard to keep the eyes on you, but is that really what you want? To constantly be the center of attention? No, and that's not what you're gonna get. People are gonna talk their heads off when you do something great, but then it's just gonna feel like this again."

"How would you have wanted to do it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said before that I have the chance to do it the way I want, so how would you do it if you had that chance?"

She smiles and lets go of her hand, then sighs deeply. "I don't think it matters, because I did it right and I'm happy with it, but what does matter is just expressing your heart's deepest desires. The ones you hold back when other people are in the room, leaving as just thoughts to fill space, and waiting for some higher power to grant them to you. You are the highest power in your life, you're the one with the ability to change everything, and you're the only one that can make the world you want to live in. You just gotta believe."

"In what? Myself?"

"Not just yourself, your power. Have you ever heard of qi?"

"In passing."

"You gotta understand that to be a meaningful artist...It's the flow of energy that moves through your being, it's the groove to your step, the essence of power inside you. You should learn Aikido, it'll teach you a lot about your purpose."

"What is that?"

"It's a form of martial arts, I thought it was just about fighting at first, but it's really about understanding what it means to fight, and fighting's all you'll do as an artist. Fighting for your values, your ideas, everything that makes you who you are."