Never Let Them Define You

INTERRUPTING PLANS

"We should go somewhere," says Marco.

"What? Why?"

"To celebrate our engagement."

"I haven't even gotten you a ring yet, we're not really engaged."

"Are you saying you don't want to marry me?"

"No, no, no..." She clears her throat and laughs.

"Well then, let's go somewhere; a vacation."

"A vacation? During all this work, no, no, that won't do-"

"Hey." He holds her cheek and looks her in the eyes. "This work is why you need a vacation."

"That's ridiculous." She brushes away his hand and crosses her arms. "There's no need, really."

"Okay, well, you can keep running like a rabbit then...it seems to be doing wonders for your mind."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're not open like you usually are; everything you say is either accusational or defensive, I can't get anything real out of you, and it's driving me crazy."

"Well, I...I don't know, I need to work."

"You can...after." He smiles and takes her hand gently. "What do you say? Be honest."

"Hmm." She looks up at the ceiling and tilts her head, then looks back at him and squints. "Where do you suppose we would go if we went?"

His smile turns manic, which he quickly tries to subside, but can't keep down completely. "Belize?"

"Where even is that?"

"Uh...I can't remember, but I hear it's beautiful."

"And I assume you won't be paying for this?"

"I can chip in."

She purses her lips and furrows her brow for a moment, then her face releases, she smiles a little, and shrugs. "Why not? Gotta get the stick out of my butt sooner or later."

His smile breaks out completely and he embraces her tightly. "Oh my God, yes, this will be great!"

"It's just a trip; relax."

"It will be just a trip with that attitude."

"Oh, are you insulting me?"

"Just saying that you gotta ease up."

"Well, if you say I have to stop thinking of my work, then I might not ease up my wallet."

"I never said that, don't worry...I'll be thinking of it, too."

"It is very important."

"That it is."

"Okay, then when should we go?"

"As soon as possible, I hope."

"Alright, I'll head into my work and give them notice."

"I'll do the same."

"How long of a trip?"

"Couple weeks?"

She laughs fakely. "I already took a week off...do you even get time off?"

"My work is very desperate and they like me a lot; I don't legally get paid time off, but they'll make sure I still get my cut."

"Well, that seems like a good place to work."

"It's a sawmill."

"Well, it's a good sawmill, that's all I'm saying."

"I've seen people get their arms chopped off."

"I know, you've said before, and that's...well, we don't need to talk about this; Belize!"

He smiles and hugs her again. "It's gonna be so great," he whispers.

"I hope so," she whispers back.

"I know."

She pulls herself out of the hug. "I'm not sure if David will approve the request, though; this is a very important time."

"Can he deny it?"

"I think so?"

"Well, he can wait two weeks."

"A week."

"Ugh, I wish I had more time with you."

"Well, you'll have plenty when I'm rich and famous; lots of trips to Belize, I'm sure." She smiles weakly and stares into his eyes.

"How do you feel about all this? You desperately wanted to avoid fame before."

She sighs heavily and shrugs. "I have no idea, really...I mean, I know that I'm still terrified, but I don't think it's right to let that rule me. I don't think it's right to just hide and ignore what is so clearly being handed to me. I think it's right to meet destiny, shake her hand, and walk through the door; so, that's what I think. What I feel is a deep pit of anxiety, fear, and self-hatred; I feel like I'm slipping away to somewhere far away, and I don't know how to stop it. I feel like maybe my purpose is to fall from grace as a lesson to all the little girls with big ideas...maybe I'm a cautionary tale."

"I don't think you are."

"Well, how do you feel?"

"I feel very confused...sometimes I think I don't know you at all; I don't know if I ever knew you, or if I ever will, but I still want to try. I have a feeling you are going to a great place, one that's full of mystery and wonder, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. I-" he stops himself, then chuckles, and continues, "don't know what to say, really; I wish the best for you."

"That's very sweet." She smiles tenderly and leans in towards him. "I think I know you."

He leans in as well. "You know many things; more than I do, maybe."

She chuckles and smiles a little wider. "I love you."

He kisses her, his tongue finding its place in her mouth, and hers swirling about. His passion rises and he tries to absorb her completely, wanting to take in every bit of her grace, and only being able to feel what he can feel in that moment. He backs down and the kiss ends, they stare at each other longingly, and she wipes her lips with her thumb. "You are an incredible woman."

She rolls her eyes and leans her head on his shoulder. "I'm just a very special someone, with big dreams, and a good head on my shoulders."