Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

The River

First of all, chickens are way more intelligent than you lumbering humans give us credit for. I hatched knowing quite a bit about life on a farm. We chicks hear things through the eggshell as we get ready to hatch. It gets permanently engraved in our brains or something. Anyway, I was going to leave now right?
So I walked slowly along a path in a corn field. The corn was ready for harvest, and some ears had fallen. I pecked a few kernels from a fallen cornstalk. Being just a hatchling, I didn't need much food. So, I was walking along when this big red tractor started rumbling along. Humans must be really stupid to invent things like tractors. Hello, major pollution issues!
Anyway, I saw the tractor coming and I was thinking oh no....
I flapped my wings, but it didn't do much good. Then, the world fell out from under my feet. I tumbled down the side of a ditch and landed in a river with a huge splash. Ok, maybe not HUGE but still. I was just a baby, remember?
I coughed, using my wings to push me to the surface. My fluffy baby feathers did nothing to help. They soaked up water and dragged me down even more. The current pushed me along, and I managed to grab a floating branch in my beak. Ok, that's the ONE thing that I envy humans for: having hands to hold things.
I was getting swept around quite a bit, and I somehow got turned over so I was standing on the branch. My soaked feathers weighed me down. I was tired and cold, and I was starting to feel hungry again. Who wouldn't? Nearly dying really works up an appetite for you. Soon, my branch jerked to a stop. I saw the branches of a weeping willow hanging over me. Its roots had stretched into the river, snagging my branch. Relieved, a shuffled across the bank to the shore. I sat against the willow's trunk, it's branches hanging around me like a tent. I fluffed my feathers to keep me warm. They were drying now; it was midday. The sun shone through the willow branches, warming me. I fell asleep.