slut ; zayn malik

03; Haunted

Gender Dysphoria: Usually occurs in FTM (female to male) and MTF(male to female) transgender people. They sometimes feel very upset or depressed about the body they were born with. It can consume their mind because their gender is something they have to deal with every second of everyday. This is a very serious thing and it is horrible to go through. People who have this problem hate their body and wish they were the opposite gender. Gender isn't easily changed and transgender people have to go thru a very costly and lengthy process to reach their goal of the opposite gender. Hating your natural self is a very tragic thing to go through. ~ from Urban Dictionary

"Why weren't you at school yesterday?" I questioned James the second I saw him. I had forgotten to text him last night, which I regret now, but Zayn is too distracting. James looked tired with his ginger hair disheveled and his blue eyes were sunken. 

"No reason, just overslept and decided on not going," He brushed me off and stepped towards his locker, but I got in front of him and stopped him. 

"No, something is wrong and you're gonna tell me," I persisted.

He grunted in annoyance before giving in, "My dysphoria started acting up because of school. You know how badly everyone treats me here." 

"Sweetie, don't worry about them. Just keep taking your medication and your hormones and focus on us and everything will be fine," I put my hand on his arm and rubbed it in a comforting gesture, "You do you."

"You always say that but it never works," He grunted before grabbing me by the shoulders and moving me aside. He stuffed his new books into his locker and took out his history book. 

"I'm just trying to help, James," I defended.

"You can't help me, Lucia. Transphobia isn't going to end anytime soon and nothing you say or do will make people stop calling me a girl," He spat before walking away. I sighed before opening my locker and trying to find my physics book. I understood James, I really did. Going through the transition is a tough process and gender dysphoria gets in the way. Diana and I just had to be patient with him and try to understand. 

My walk to physics was quiet as I was still down from my conversation with James. I tried my best to not let it affect me too much as I sat down in my usual seat. My mood changed drastically when I saw Zayn come in wearing a navy blue button-up shirt and some dark jeans. His hair was up in his usual quiff and his glasses rested on the bridge of his nose. 

"Hello," He greeted as he sat down next to me. He wore cologne today and it smelled heavenly. This boy was going to be the death of me. His scent was hypnotizing and I almost forgot to greet him back.

"Hi. You smell so fucking good, Zayn," I winked. His face flushed red as he muttered a thanks under his breath. "And you look good, too," I flirted and he bit his lip to suppress a grin. He was just too cute and my want for him increased by the second. I hate to sound spoiled, but I always get what I want. I wasn't able to flirt with Zayn some more since Mr. Lane came in complaining about how bad traffic was and how the lady in front of him needed to go back to driving school. I rolled my eyes before taking out my notebook for notes.

~~~

"Zayn!" I yelled out as I saw him leave the cafeteria line. His head snapped towards me and he smiled slightly at me before I waved him over. 

"What's up?" He asked, slightly shy since my friends were with me. 

"Sit with us?" I asked him. He looked over to Diana and James before nodding and taking a seat next to me.

"Guys, this is Zayn. Zayn this is James and Diana," I introduced them. He nodded before saying hi quietly to them. They realized Zayn was a quiet person and we continued on with our conversation about how the new teacher, Mrs. Nick, seemed so incredibly awkward, it was laughable. 

"She passed by Mrs Smith's room to borrow her stapler and she kind of just stood there looking at anyone but the students. This girl tried to talk to her but she kind of ignored her," Zayn said. We laughed and continued poking fun at her. 

The bell was what interrupted our session, but Diana and James seemed to really like Zayn, and when the squad likes him, then he's admitted to it. 

"You're in our squad now," I told Zayn as we walked back to our lockers. 

"Squad?"

"Yes, Zayn. Squad," I laughed as I got to mine and took out my Algebra 2 book. 

"That just seems like a weird word to me," He mumbled.

"Well you seem like a weird kid to me but I don't throw shit at you, do I?" He simply laughed and shook his head. The deserted hallway made an awkward silence fall between us as we walked to his locker. He was searching through it, when out of nowhere, Niall, another boy I mess around with, came up from behind me and poked my sides. I let out a loud squeal before turning around and smacking his arm. 

"Fuck you," I mumbled as he held on to my waist and kissed my cheek.

"I'm free tonight," He winked. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Well I'm not free tonight so find another chick to screw you," I said as I pushed him away.

"Aww, you're no fun," He grumbled before walking away with his shoulders slouched.

"Is that the boy you were making out with yesterday?" Zayn asked, sounding slightly pissed off.

"No, that was another one," I said.

"How many boys do you mess around with?" He snapped.

"A few," I shrugged, "But there's one I've got my eye on right now." I winked as I ran my fingers along his arm in a suggestive manner.

"You're such a fucking slut," He said as he shrugged me off.

"We'll see who's talking when you come back begging me to fuck you," I whispered before walking away, leaving him stunned. It actually hurt. I was so sure that that word no longer had an effect on me, but hearing it from Zayn was different for some reason. It was like I actually cared what he thought of me, but that couldn't be because I don't care what anyone thinks of me. It's a system that I've learned to develop over time. I walked back to history in silence while the boy's words haunted me. 

This is sort of just a filler chapter, sorry xx 

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~Judith