You Suck

Chapter 7

    I did not eat dinner last night. Uncle D did come and check on me but I did not eat the take out he ordered. It is still in the fridge. I didn't bother to shower which caused me to feel gross when I woke up. Instead of getting straight up I just stare at the ceiling.
     There's a knock at my door. "Yes?" "Hey,niece." "Hey.." Usually he would say "good morning".
    It is not a "good morning" though. "I made you pancakes. They are on a plate and in the microwave to keep warm." He gives me a sad smile. "Thanks. Do you know if mom will get off this morning or at lunch?" There is a little hope in me hoping that she will come home this morning.
    In the morning we can talk a little bit. When she gets off at lunch time she showers and goes straight to bed(which is what happens ninety percent of the time).   "No, I don't." "Okay." My spirits are crushed a little bit.
    I decide to get up,get a shower, and some fresh clothes. The warm water feels like a hug as it hits my back. I open my body wash and feel emotion overwhelm me. Vanilla. That was his favorite scent on me.
   I stare at the bottle for a bit. Control yourself Miller! Are you really letting soap make you sad? I go ahead and use it. The heat and smell overwhelms me and here I am crying again.
    I hate that I cry so much. It seems as if it is the only way I can express emotion. Sadness, Anger, Confusion,Happiness.... I have not cried happy tears in a while. It would be nice.
     "Are you okay? You have been in there a while." At this point I have stopped crying and im just standing in the water. " Yes, i'm fine! I am about to get out." I turn the water off. "Hey,get dressed."
    He says at my door. "Why?" I can feel him rolling his eyes. "I have to run some errands..." "Why can't I just stay home?"
     I say while brushing my hair. "GIRL- Just get dressed!" "Fine." I grab some jeans and a baggy blue tshirt. I grab my house key and purse and step out of my room.
    "Come on! Grab those pancakes so you can eat something." "I'm not hungry." "I'm hungry for you. Eat." I grab the pancakes out the microwave and eat them as we go to the car. "No syrup or butter? Just dry..."
    I chuckle a bit. " I knew I could make you laugh." "That wasn't a laugh. It was a chuckle." He side eyes me. "Same thing Farrah!"
     We pull up to the mall. "You could have just told me we were going to the mall ." He rolls his eyes. We get out of the car and walk to the entrance. "Hey! I'm here. Okay. Here I come. That was Britney. She wanted me to shop with her. "
    "Ew, you're making me hang with y'all?" He rolls his eyes. "Little girl you are on one today. No, I am not. You're fifteen now.. So.." He pulls out five  twenty dollar bills and sits them in an envelope. "Here. Have fun. Meet me in the food court at 11:30. "
    I hug him. "Thank you!" "Don't do anything crazy!" "I won't!" This is fun.
     I'm really not that big a fan of shopping but I guess when it's by myself I am. I am now on my third store. I didn't buy much from the other two. Mostly accessories. As I walk in my heart patters.
    I see the dude from yesterday. Dante. I would walk out but they are having a really good sale. Ughhhh! I walk in and quickly walk past the counter.
    "Welcome to Susie's." He says while taking hangers out of clothing. "Thank you." I disappear by the time he looks up. I know exactly what I am going to get.
     I grab them and I'm ready to check out! I desperately look for another check out. He would be the only one open. Just my luck. "Hello." "Hi." I say with my head down and quickly put the clothes and accessories on the counter.
     He looks at me and stops scanning. "You're Farrah."  I go silent. "How are you doing? I hear-" I stop him right there.
    "Look, can you please just scan my stuff and let me get out of here?" He doesn't say anything and starts scanning again. "You know you could be kinder sometimes? A bit more humble.." My face gets hot and now I'm irritated. "Oh really?"
    I say sarcastically. He doesn't say anything but I can tell my comments weren't the nicest. "Okay... I'm sorry." "Uh huh.. Thanks." I use this opportunity as a moment to maybe make a new friend.
    "Let's start over.. Um,hey. My name is Farrah." He smiles. My heart flutters. Ew, what is wrong with me?  "Hey,Farrah. I'm Dante."
    He holds his hand out. I shake it and take my hand back quickly. "Nice to meet you." "So, what was that for?" He smiles again.
   "I don't know." He nods and finishes ringing it up. "Would you like to talk more or was this just an out of school thing?" He chuckles and I feel shame pour over me. "That was a joke.... Want my number?"
    "I don't give my number out to everyone." "Oh,okay..." I realize I sounded rude again.  "I will give you my Instagram though." He smiles.
     "Alright. I can't get my phone out on the job so just write it on this paper for me." I raise an eyebrow. "What is it now?" I shake my head. "Nothing."
   I write my user name down and grab my bag. "Have a nice day!" "Thanks." I walk out and catch myself smiling.