Dark skinned Dreams

Bruised flesh.

I cant imagine being such a disgusting person.

Watching your child cry and reach out to you and smack their hands away.

You do it over and over and over.

Reach.. punish.

Reach.. punish..

Reach.. punish...

It isn't until they stop reaching that you care.

You reach out and they smack ur hands away.

That unfamiliar sting on your hands travels to ur gut and twists ur intestines till you feel sick.

That sickness is guilt churning and twisting.
But your too stubborn to admit that guilt so now it's just anger and hatred.

You reach out your hands again but not with care but with rage. The hands that were meant to hug is just grabbing and gripping onto bruised flesh.

U watch as your child pushes you off and begins to ignore how ur fingers dig into their arms.

Your attachment to them is nothing but a need to control and self pity.

You know they deserve better but you won't admit it. In your mind it's just another fit.. another temper tantrum.

But they can see it in your eyes when you yell.

That disgusting pile of guilt.

It hurts them to know you feel it but ignore it.

You're a lost cause.