The Forest Guardians

46. Wonderland Chapter 1

Omen's POV

Fear. Pain. Lost. Betrayal. Envy. Anger.

So many different feelings. Yet, so dark and twisted. It made me feel like the world was gray and dull. It was lifeless. There was no joy in looking forward to the future. It felt like I was in the muddy waters. No, it was something stickier and harder to get out of. The word could not come to mind, but all I knew was I never wanted to get out of them.

Why?

Why do I not want to get out? What is keeping me in and stopping me from getting out? How do I stop feeling this way?

It was an endless loop of negativity. The fear that stopped me from getting out of this pit was that I might get back inside one day.

If the result is the same as the beginning, why bother struggling at all? Why do people bother looking for the light when darkness covers it? Why look for the sun when it is gone?

A hand grabbed mine.

The answer was no matter how dark things are, they cannot indeed cover the light. It is momentary when the sun is gone because it will come back tomorrow. When you believe the light is there, it is there.

It has always been there.

I gasped as I opened my eyes. I could feel my lungs filling up with fresh air pumped out from the natural lungs of the earth. Soft rays of sunlight shone down on me, pushing away the morbid memories of coldness. I took another deep breath as I gained my bearings.

My hand was gripping Shiro's like hers was a lifeline while the others were rubbing my back and fanning my face. It was a nightmare, a panic attack, or a long-lost memory churned up from the depths of my mind. Whatever it was, I was just thankful that Shiro pulled me out of them.

I shuddered.

I never wanted to feel something like that again. It wasn't me, but it was. That was how Shadows could be born. It was enough for a Shadow to take over me with such intense negativity and start harming other living beings.

I glanced at Shiro to see her worried expression.

Was my past so profoundly rooted in negativity that just a mere memory is enough for me to succumb to the Shadows?

"Are you alright?"

I sighed at Shiro's question. It was enough to tell her that the answer was no.

"How is it possible that you would end up with another mesias?" Envilia asked. "It wasn't easy locking her away."

"I... I don't know. I think she was already split from us." I answered slowly as a headache came over to me. "With only the weight of our past life's memories to accompany her, I think she might have gone mad with pain."

Yin rubbed the sides of her arms while her twin brother hugged her as a way to comfort her. Yet, Shiro was strangely silent. Only her hand was still gripping mine.

"It might have been a mistake to split us apart." Shiro suddenly said.

Everyone looked at her. Having been the first mesias summoned, it was no wonder if she knew something that I did not know. She continued.

"Before we signed the Guardian contract, we were already fragmented parts of a tortured being. On the last bit of sanity left, we decided to split ourselves apart and have the bits that we could not control sealed away once we signed the contract. However, "I" never expect that such an outcome would have happened."

It was clear that Shiro was far more rational than we thought.

"But, it doesn't make sense! Memories cannot have grown on their own like how humans would." Envilia argued. "To let her become part of us again would be disastrous. I cannot be certain if we can even withstand her."