A Collection of the Broken

-A Button-

(I wrote this two or three years ago when I just started writing. I like it. It reminds me so much of what I used to write)

It’s just a button.

I’ve been here for hours just staring at it. What’s wrong with me? I’m being scared by a stupid button, a red, small, stupid button. What’s with me?

I’m staring at it. It’s so ordinary, so usual. Why can’t I just press it? It should mean nothing. Nothing! But, here I stand, not gaining or possessing any courage to just push it- to press it.

But I can’t press it because of him. I can’t do it because of what he told me…

He told me it would change my life. A simple button, that looks meaningless, can change my life…

 But I can’t? I can’t change my life? Why can’t I? I don’t know. I don’t think I ever will. Maybe I’m too stupid. Maybe I’m too much of a coward. Maybe I’m too fragile. Maybe I’m too shallow. It could be one of a million reasons- and I could figure it out- I know I can.

But I’m sitting here staring at a button that’s going to change my life for me.

That’s pathetic.

I can’t change my life. Even through all of the hard work I’ve done, I can’t do it. So I have to rely on a button?

I’ve been doing a horrible job taking care of my life. I always have. It’s just who I am, and that frustrates me. I want to do something about it, but I can’t. I never will. My whole life I’ve been telling myself every night that tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow I will be a hero of my own heart, an adventurer carving a new path, a wise man making no wrong, or a prophet who knows all that is held in the future.

I lied to myself every night. I knew I could never be any of those things. But I had to lies to myself. It made me… feel better.

I never believe myself though.

Then, suddenly, I’m dragged into this white room with promises of a better life.

At least… I think it’s a better life.

They didn’t tell me if the button would make my life better or worse, but really, how much worse can my life get?

Looking down at the button I see it’s taunting me. It’s showing me I’m too scared to push it. It knows I’m scared.

I’m scared of a button…

No, I’m not! I will not be terrified! I am not scared of a button!

I am scared of change.

I’m scared of the risk…

But I have to make that risk! A better life is waiting for me!

Isn’t it?

What will this button do?!

I have no idea. But I can’t be here forever.

I have to forget all of this nonsense and just…

Press it.

No…No…No…

I won’t.

I hate this button. Why does it have the power to change my life? -It of all things. I can think of a lot more things that deserve that power, not a button.

But it’s a button. It isn’t a puzzle, a journey. I just have to press it.

But would it be the right thing? Certainly, someone can’t just press a button and have a different life. It’s too simple- too easy. Life shouldn’t be manipulated by something as plain as a button.