Love You to Death

Chapter 3 - Remeniscing

Lissabeth

As I sped through the forest, my mind was finding it difficult to occupy itself. This was a bad thing, because when I wasn't thinking about something specific, my mind usually went back to that fateful night a hundred years ago.

After I had given myself up to die beside him - I still refused to even think his name - I had been unconscious for God knows how long, then had woken up - hours, days, weeks later? I didn't know - all alone on the plain, lying in a fetal position on the ground that had been set hard with blood. I didn't know what to do with myself. I wasn't sure why I wasn't dead. I was completely numb.

I got up, and started walking. I wasn't sure where. I just walked. There didn't seem to be anything else for me to do. I had only been walking for around a minute when I almost tripped over some woody ashes on the ground. I looked around, and realised I was standing in a large, rough circle of black, barely visible against the blood stained ground.

It's funny how dark blood is when it dries.

I let out a cry, and my lethargic body jolted into action, catapulting me out of the circle. I stared in horror at the fine black powder stirred up in my wake. His ashes were probably here. Oh god. What if I had stood on top of them?! Had I walked over them? Oh good god. I couldn't do this. My body shuddered under the emotional strain. I slapped my hand to my mouth, and stumbled away, wrenching my horrified gaze from my lover's pathetic remains.

I can't remember how far I walked that day. I don't know how long I put one foot in front of the other, making my way to somewhere, I cared not where. In fact, I barely remembered anything from that point onwards. It was all a blur of walking, feeding, walking again. I only had a few simple markers to keep the years in place, only a few heavy paper-weights to keep all the papers from blowing away, or getting muddled up. The day I received the tip-off that Aro was after me. The day I finally came out of the depression his death had sunk me into, and the grief hit me so hard that the world immediately turned grey again, and I went right back under. The day I almost got caught. The day I found a renegade immortal child living with a male vampire in Germany. I killed them both.

But that first day I remembered for many reasons. The day I woke up. The day I found the remains of the fire, and of him. The day I sunk into the depression for the first time. But I mostly remember it for one reason, and one reason only, because of how guilty I feel. How terrible, that I wasn't able to preserve him, to honour his memory in this small, small way. So small, yet so large. So terrible. So terrible that I mainly remember that day for exactly that reason.

The day I made my first human kill.

Heya peeps! So, this is my longest chappie so far! I know that's not really saying much coz SERIOUSLY, it even annoys ME how short my chapters are. So I guess that makes me a big hypocrite, but I don't really like to control the story. I just let the story do what it wants to, and I act as a conduit. So it's not really my choice how long the chapters are, I barely even know what I'm going to be writing about before I start. So I guess we all just have to wait for the chapters to get longer, including me. And I just realised I'm starting all my sentences with SO. And I also just realised I'm rambling on a lot. So (uugggghhhhhh, there it goes again) imma actually finish this now and get on with posting the next chappie. That means more coming soon, guys, and I bet you can all tell we're building up to something here!! Keep reading, and peace out! Toodles!!! ;-P :-D