Shadow

Sane? or Insanity?

        The next morning I thought was a little bland. All the pups got up at the same time, packed away everything in sync, even the prince boy had everything ready along with the pups. I was the only one apparently not in sync that morning.  Nor would I have wanted to be. It was just plain creepy. One of the pups who finished early pack my things, and soon after that we were off.

        The journey to prince boy's castle was a little longer than I would have liked. My clothes the whole journey were really itching, and I'm pretty sure my legs will stay rubbed raw forever. Other than that the journey was uneventful. I waste of time if you ask me. All the pups were so serious. Sure if one was traveling alone then you could act all serious if you wanted, but with other beings around you, one would think even sometimes there would be some playful bantering.

        The prince boy was the only one who besides me looked uncomfortable with the whole setup. I noticed he occasionally tried to talk with the guards but it seems a if these pups were picked for their muscle than there conversation. Prince boy could have talked to me of course.... Hahahahaha

        Imagine that... Prince boy and I actually talking like "normal" human beings. Though he never did talk. He only stared at me when I was wasn't looking. When he gets around to talking to me though, I will have to mention how Daddy said its rude to stare. Oh Daddy....

        We are close to the castle. I can sense it.... It feels like the closer to the castle we go, the more dread settles over the land. Of course i cant mention that to Daddy, he rather likes this place since he grew up here and all.....

        When has this started? My mind is strange.... I am starting to talk ill about Daddy. No, no, no. This cannot be. I need to see Daddy he needs to fix me. My mind has never before been this clear. Come to think of it, I have never  been in a forest or near it for this long either. I have forgotten that Daddy never liked me going into the woods. He said whenever I went into the forest I would start acting different. Different supposed to his obedient little girl. 

        I need Daddy, my thoughts are beginning to jumble. Ideas and thoughts that are mine and mine alone are starting to fill my head. Daddy said this was never a good thing. He said I was to always just listen to him. I am to only to think his thoughts. Think about only how I can please him or else something bad will happen to me.

        The castle! I see it on the horizon. Prince boy can help me! Oh yes.... He promised to bring me to Daddy. I will make sure he does just that. Daddy needs to cure my mind. I can't have this.... this.... dangerous clearness of mind happening to me. Not now. Not ever. I need my perfect, clear insanity. I need only one thought in my head. I need to only think about how I can please Daddy. 

       I need him to fix me. And.... It needs to be soon

***

        This journey has been miserable. My father picked these guards to go on this quest with me probably to smite me. They don't talk, they don't smile, or laugh, or do anything really. They guard, protect, and give me anything I need. I really need to start talking to my Captain of the guard and get him to switch my guards.

        The only one who seems to have any emotion besides me on this journey is the Assassin. Over the past couple weeks I've been noticing a change in her. When I first met Shadow in the mines she seemed like an absolute Lunatic. But now...

        She seems like a person for once. We never talk, but the change in her eyes gives it away. It looked as if her mind had been clouded and finally a clear blue sky showed up to wipe the clouds away. That was the thing that unsettled me the most though. The guards and there blandness I could handle, but the slow clarity that is showing up in her eyes makes me want to go and cower in fear. There is something inside her, something hidden beneath the clouds, that soon may soon be unleashed. 

        Spirits save us all if that ever happens...

        What I don't get though is she looks upset. Upset about what? Gaining clarity would make one happy right? But not her, not Shadow. 

        My castle soon approaching is hard to miss. Built to withstand, intruders and natural disasters, It is the biggest castle in all the lands and its made of stone. But not just one kind of stone but thousands. From legend I heard that my great ancestors wanted the castle to represent the land. All parts of it. They had the builders scour the land for all different rocks, and stones, sometimes marble, along with assorted jewel like rocks. 

        The castle from that was then created. Each of the stones scavenged had been sorted and then put to use. Each section of the castle is a different layer of stone. If one I suppose were to look upon it for the first time they may find it to looks like a gradual shade of waves like the ocean except made of stone.

        Beautiful as it may be, its my own personal prison. Where my father can control my actions and thoughts. Its like insanity. I hate it...

        The only reason I even obeyed my father to get this Assassin was because I could get away from him. And now to go back. While Shadow may slowly begin to get clarity. It seems as though I will now be losing mine. For all our sake's I hope I don't lose it forever. 

        Perhaps when I get back I can change his ways. While most unlikely, there has to be a small sliver, a tiny speck that I can bring forth and convince him to change. While I'm doing this impossible quest I might as well and go kiss Shadow while I'm at it. Who am I kidding, I am under my fathers rule and I always will be no matter how much I wish to be free...

***

Free...

        I cannot be free any longer. My sanity is returning. I am cutting it close. Maybe in a few days  or hours, I know I will remember what should have been forgotten. I need Daddy. I need my slavery. I need my freedom taken away. I need my insanity back.... Its the only way.... The only way...