The Pain You Bring

22 | 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐬

Well, now I know that Carter and I stand somewhere over that friend line.

After we spent more time together (kissing involved), I left.

Back at my dorm, I attempt to cram in my studies for my Calculus final tomorrow morning. I'm super nervous and it doesn't help the kisses between Carter and I made my blood go all hot.

I attempted to take a cold shower, but that didn't help.

No. I need to get him out of my system. He really is a distraction and I'm not going to allow him to get in the way of my studies.

My schooling and work is far more important to me. My career is important to me. Carter may not even be around that long but my work? That'll be at the end of the finish line for me.

Three more years, I tell myself.

It's only 10:30 when I start studying and I fully intend on staying up till one A.M. if that means I get the criteria shoved into my brain.

—————————-

Now I sit in Calculus exhausted and nervous.

I ended up staying up till three not one.

I chugged two cups of straight black coffee to calm myself down but it only made my shaking worse.

The timer starts for the hour and a half we get and I pray that this one will be okay.

——————————

"Honey, I'm sure you did amazing," Abby says to me as we sit for lunch in the campus dining hall.

"Yeah, I agree," Chloe chirps in.

I take a bite of sub sandwich and sip on my Coke. My nerves are still going wild and I am super stressed out with the Audrey situation.

Chloe talks with her mouthful of chips, "What do we tell Landon about Audrey? I know y'all have been thinking about it."

Abby stays silent as she digs into her fruit salad. I simply shrug.

"I have no idea but I feel like crap about it," I admit.

Chloe nods. She pauses eating to put her hair back up with her claw clip.

Abby, again, stays silent.

I open my Fritos but Chloe's face immediately lights up. So does Abby's. They're both looking behind me.

"Hey, gorgeous," Carter whispers in my ear. I feel a small blush heat up my cheeks at his voice.

Carter pulls out a chair and sits next to me.

"Go grab some food, you need to eat," Chloe nags at him. I look over and see him stick his tongue out at her, "Nope. This sexy body doesn't need food right now."

I roll my eyes playfully and Abby chuckles.

"Abigail," Chloe chirps. Abby's hazel eyes flash with embarrassment at her first name being used so causally. In high school, her mother called her 'Abigail' when she was caught or in trouble.

"I wanna know who this secret lover of yours is!"

"Chloe!" Abby mutters looking around. Chloe giggles and Carter grabs my cup, taking a sip of my Coke.

"Come on! Pretty please?" Chloe pleads.

"Yeah, now I wanna know," Carter says. His voice gives off a mockingly offended tone.

Abby rolls her eyes, "enough with the harassment, please? It's a secret for a reason."

I smirk to myself. I didn't know Abby was one for spicy secret relationships. That certainly wasn't in her confession to me but I chose not to pry.

"Please!" Chloe begs like a little kid begging to open a gift on Christmas Eve.

"No," Abby declines firmly.

"PLEASE!"

"Shut up!" Abby says. She tosses a grape from her salad at Chloe.

"I don't know guys maybe it's not that serious," Carter intercedes. Chloe and Abby both look at him.

"Carter, don't talk to us about serious," Chloe says. She's acting pissed off but I know she wants to laugh right now.

"Next topic," Abby muffles with a look to Chloe who scrunches her nose at her.

"I have a little surprise," Abby says.

I put down my bag of chips and Carter stops sipping. We all look at her.

"I'm transferring to NYU!" Abby squeals excitedly.

So do Chloe and I because we all scream in the dining hall and it goes completely quiet. I can already tell Carter is either smiling or putting his hands over his ears.

"What?!" I scream, "How?"

"I talked with my parents about it. I've fallen in love with New York and I want to stay here for college. I have enough money for the next few semesters in my fund."

Chloe is tearing up, "we can all be roomies!"

"I can't believe this," I say.

"Neither can I. Congrats, Abby." Carter says sincerely.

I sit back down but my legs are bouncing everywhere. I could literally cry of excitement.

"I'm so exited!" Abby sequels. She claps her hands together like a little kid.

"So are we," Chloe says.

We all finish up lunch and I have to convince Carter to let me go back to my dorm and study. He told me to stop by his place later, but I can't afford for another make out session to break loose.

But... maybe. I'll think about it.

I get into comfy clothes and prepare myself for a few hours of studying.

Last final. I have to remind myself. One more and then you're good to go.

—————————-

I fell asleep.

Like drooling on my textbook sleeping. I was so exhausted.

I only lasted about 2 hours of studying before my brain passed out. Abby has been busy finalizing her charity stuff.

She's going to finish the next semester at TCU and then she'll transfer here. That'll give her plenty of time to look for apartments or dorms plus it's way easier than mid-year transferring.

Chloe is working hard to finish up her Bachelors degree in education.

And I, am hoping to even get a Bachelors degree. I'm aiming for Masters in psychology, but so far i've been too distracted to even finish my schoolwork.

I am so mentally drained. My mother would've whooped my ass by now.

I look outside my wide window and my heartbeat quickens.

It's snowing.

The beautiful light flurries of snowflakes are falling and oh my god it's so beautiful.

I see couples down below on campus walking around holding hands in beanies and scarves.

And for some reason, my mind goes to Carter.

He'd hold my hand in the snow and offer me billions of times if I wanted hot coffee. He'd probably even push me into the snow, get on top of me, and call it foreplay.

A small smile forms my lips at the thought.

Maybe I deserve this. Maybe I deserve him.

Well, actually that's impossible. Carter is a sweet, kind, selfless person. He's what I honestly strive to be as a person.

I like him.

Do I?

I do.

I like Carter.