The Pain You Bring

34 | 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

My heart is pounding. My palms are sweating. My mind is a whirlwind of emotion.

Abby drove us to the hospital Carter was rushed to. It's a small ass town so there are really only two major ones but Petersburg is the closest. How? How could he be tangled into a situation like this? A situation he never deserves.

The greatest, kindest, most humble person I've met in my life is the only one I know who has been kicked through dirt and mud the most.

It's unfair. And it makes me want to burn the world apart for him.

I rush into the lobby where I see my mom waiting, Abby not far behind me. "Where is he?" I ask as soon as I reach her chair. She looks up at me, "Mandy, he's just finished up a small surgery."

Surgery? If I could, I'd sink into a ball and cry.

Carter doesn't deserve pain.

"But where?" I search my mother for answers. She shrugs as she stands up, "I'm not his family, Mandy. They only told me so much."

The realization hits me. His family. His grandparents. They have to know, right? I'm sure they were somehow called.

I walk over to the receptionist desk, "Excuse me?" I say and a shorter woman looks over to me, "I'm here for Carter Osteen."

"Okay," she nods with an understanding smile. She looks through a computer before looking back to me, "he'll be able to visit in about twenty minutes. Surgery shows he's still asleep though."

I sigh with a whirlpool of emotions. Relief is one of them.

"Thank you," I say. Abby walks up to me, her hazel eyes full of concern.

"Mandy, look at me." She grabs ahold of my shaking shoulders, "everything will be fine. Carter will be fine."

I shake my head, "what if he's not? What if-"

"Don't, Mandy. You'll only make it worse," she says.

My mother comes up behind me, "he'll be okay."

—————————————

After two hours and thirty four minutes, the receptionist comes over to us.

"He's okay to see you now," she smiles.

I immediately stand up and follow her. My pace is so fast I nearly step on her heels twice until we reach a room.

She opens it and leads us inside. And there he is.

Carter. Asleep on a bed in a hospital gown. My heart stops. He's okay.

I feel breathless. My lungs have stopped working and my eyes are scanning all over him. He's hooked up to an IV bag and his face has two tiny scars. His fingers lay gently at his sides and his eyes are fluttered shut.

His eyes. His beautiful blue eyes.

I want to look at them. So badly I could cry.

"He's still asleep but you guys can stay in here now. He's fully conscious and he'll be perfectly fine," the receptionist says.

"Thank you," my mom says before she leaves.

When the door closes, my mom, Abby, and I just stand there.

I walk over to Carter slowly and sit on a chair that's close to a side of the bed. The tears threaten my eyes and I'm overflowed with a sense of relief as his chest rises and falls.

"We'll give you some time alone," my mother says. I don't look at her, don't even acknowledge her. All I can do is look at Carter.

The door shuts and Carter and I are officially left alone. The faint beeping of the heart monitor is the only sound in the room.

I take a moment to look at Carters intricately long eyelashes, the dip of his jaw, the curve of his lips.

I could've lost him.

I could've lost the one good thing I have in my life forever.

"Hey," I whisper. I touch his face, tracing my fingertips along the small stubble on his cheek, "it's me."

He stays asleep and his breathing stays the same.

"I'm sorry for what I said," I whisper, "I didn't mean it. Any of it. And I'm sorry."

More silence.

"I was so scared. I was so scared I lost you, Carter." The tears fall from my eyes but I don't catch them. I only stare at his beautiful face and realize that he can't hear me. But I don't care.

When I lean down to kiss his hand, his body stirs. I look up quickly to see him straining his eyes, the light appearing too bright to him.

When his blue eyes meet mine, I'm suddenly struck with the memory of when I met him at that coffee shop. The sparks I got when I looked into those ocean blues for the first time and I feel it all over again.

Except this time, it's different. This time, I'm so helplessly in love with him.

"Mandy?" he whispers and the faintest smile stretches across his face.

"Why are you crying?" he asks. He lifts his hand to cup my tear-stained cheek.

"You're okay," I say. His expression softens even more. "I was worried about you," he whispers.

I nearly laugh, "worried about me? Carter, you're the one in a hospital bed. You're the one who just survived a car accident."

He chuckles and the sound warms my body, mind, and soul. "Yeah well, I'm good now. Does anyone else know?"

"Abby's here. So is my mom. I don't think your grandparents know. Your phone was destroyed in the crash," I inform him.

He stays quiet as I explain what happened since he can't remember. Carter left and told the driver his destination, a small bar downtown so he could watch the European soccer, and as they were going straight at a green light, someone side slammed the vehicle.

Luckily, Carter was sitting on the opposite side of the collision but he still took some damage.

The collision immediately knocked him out. He broke his wrist and his face is scarred from when his face hit the window. His mouth was full of blood from that hit too.

I don't even want to think about the circumstances if Carter sat on the other side.

Carter sighs and lifts the hand that isn't broken to rest on mine, "I'm glad I'm here," he says. I nod in agreement. Tears sting my eyes yet again and he notices.

"What's wrong?" he asks softly.

I sniffle before looking down, "I could've-" I hiccup from the tears, "I could've lost you."

"Baby," he whispers. He leans on his good arm to be closer to me. "Come here."

I look up at him confused but when he pats the bed and scoots over an inch, I immediately stand and crawl into his arms.

I could've never have been in his arms again.

I breath in deeply, savoring the smell of his cologne and the warmth of his arms.

"Im right here. I'm okay," he whispers into my hair. He gives me a lingering kiss there.

It doesn't take me long but I fall asleep to his hand brushing through my hair.