The Prices I Pay ((MIKE ZACHARIAS X ERWIN SMITH X OC))

Chapter 21

The month granted for Silica's full recovery came and went quickly, and within that time she was visited by her mother on three separate occasions; finding out of her new grandson's birth through a letter from Mike.

Silica couldn't say she was necessarily pleased with Mike going out of his way to tell Agnis without asking her first, but given their good standing since their last meeting, Silica decided to let it slide. Each member of Silica's squad made it a point to chip in for a care basket and to drop by to wish her well, and Nora and Peter came by once every week, with hand-sewn outfits from Nora that Silica discovered had been in the making since Lucas was conceived. The gesture was sweet and happily received, however Silica's quality time to spend with Lucas was coming to a close, as she would have to return to her position as Squad Captain; something she had been anxiously waiting to get back to since falling pregnant.

"You could always take another week to yourself if needed." Erwin was saying from his seated position on Silica's bed. He held Lucas from underneath his arms with his forefingers supporting the back of his head, watching as he gurgled whilst sucking on his fingers.

"I've been away long enough," Silica sighed in response as she absently folded Lucas' clothes. Despite the stern look on her face, she sounded unsure. "And I'll only be on base for half the day, so it won't be so bad..."

She couldn't stop herself from glancing at Lucas, and sighed again when Erwin threw her a pointed look.

"Besides," she continued. "Brutus is anxious to relinquish his duties in my place, and Mike is taking Lucas for the first day I'm back, so it'll be fine."

She sounded more like she was trying to convince herself rather Erwin, and as she turned to put the folded laundry away, Erwin arose with Lucas in his arms to kiss her on the cheek.

"It was only a suggestion," Erwin smiled at her. "I just want to make sure you're ready to come back."

She smiled back at him. "I'm ready, Brows. I'll be fine."

Silica left for the Scout Regiment HQ early the following morning once Mike had arrived at her house. Her journey there, as the many others, was short, and the brisk morning air colored her cheeks pink as it blew into her face. It felt almost nostalgic to be wearing her uniform again, and she adjusted the collar of her waist coat once Toffee was secured inside the base horse pens.

It was still a few hours before normal procedures for her squad would take place, so she spent her time before drills to take a few shots in the weight room as an attempt to recondition her body for what would take place that day.

Her mind remained blank at she stared at the punching bag in front of her, and her concentration only broke when the bag became rigid against her firm strikes. She looked up abruptly, and the scowl on her face turned into a frown upon seeing Brutus standing behind the punching bag, smiling crookedly at the look she had given him.

"Mornin, Cap," he greeted cheekily, to which Silica crossed her arms. "Seems not much has changed in the last few months. You're right back on the grind."

"That surprises you?" She asked, tilting her head and looking at him pointedly. Brutus laughed.

"Not at all," he said cheekily as he slung his arm around her shoulders. He led her out of the weight room. "I'm actually glad to see it. It's been months since I've really seen you, so this is pretty refreshing."

"Oh, please," Silica lazily rolled her eyes. "You're just happy you don't have to play squad captain anymore."

"I absolutely won't deny that," he confessed. "The whole squad is anxious to have you back."

Silica was quiet at that as they trekked near the horse pens. A nervous flutter tickled her stomach as cadets passed and saluted them, and she couldn't help but think back to her first day on base. How weary people were of her presence; how careful everyone used to be not to catch her eye. The times had changed so much that Silica felt as if she was a shell of her former self — she was no longer that girl from the Underground District. She was respected and admired, someone people finally looked up to as a capable soldier.

In the past, being someone of such standing would have made her laugh, but now, she couldn't be more proud of her station within the Survey Corps.

"I see your day dreaming hasn't gone away any, either," Brutus leaned forward on his horse to catch Silica's eye as she mounted Toffee. "Nervous to be back?"

"Not at all." Silica denied with a quick shake of her head, flicking the reigns to urge her horse forward. He obeyed, and Brutus followed suit.

Brutus hummed a response, and despite feeling his eyes on the back of her neck, she remained unbothered as she led the way toward the training grounds. The brisk morning air felt soothing against her cheeks, and she couldn't help the relief that coursed through her veins at being able to get back to the job she was brought on to do; to finally feel like herself again after months of uncertainty.

The pair arrived at the top of the training grounds within fifteen minutes, and as soon as Silica rounded the top of the hill, she could see the bodies of her squadmates gathered in a small group a few feet away. They appeared to be partaking in idle chatter, and the way they all scurried into a line upon seeing Silica approaching made her release an amused sigh as she threw a look in Brutus' direction.

"Like I said," he grinned. "They've been anxious for you. They would never do that for me."

"Welcome back, Captain!" Elite Advancement called out in unison, their voices echoing in the near-empty training grounds. Silica dismounted as they saluted her.

"Glad to be back," Silica replied, baring no change to her usual stoic tone whenever she addressed her squad. "I hope McManus here hasn't been allowing you lot to slack off."

"Not at all, Captain," Monica bowed her head briefly. "We've been training tirelessly since you went on leave, as you instructed."

"I see..." she trailed off for a moment as she gazed upon all of their faces. "Then I suppose this time you'll have no problems out-doing me... unlike when you all were brought into Elite Advancement, wouldn't you say?"

No one dared to answer her, and instead they all exchanged silent, nervous glances. Silica couldn't contain a smirk as she began to jog passed them.

"Let's go," she called over her shoulder. "Show me what I've missed out on."