[9] Xigon: Disturbance

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            Styzia darkened with nightfall. Gradually, the chaos grew still. The girls finally ran out of things to talk and laugh about, and the noise from their room died down to emptiness. Xigon was always the last one to sleep each night if he slept at all. He sat on the floor and watched the flames flicker and dance within his lantern.

As he gazed into the soft orange glow, his breathing slowed, and his tensed muscles relaxed. He let his mind grow still, like the surface of a pond on a windless day. Smooth as a mirror. Xigon extended his hand over the spilled light. Its shadow spread over the floor like immense claws.

Then, like a breeze across the water, something disturbed his calm. The heat of another life wafted over him like smoke. Xigon looked up. Everyone's heat was unique, and he always knew who was on the other side of his door. "Come in, Qila."

The old woman opened his door and let herself in. She looked down at his lantern. "Sorry, were you meditating?"

Xigon adjusted his goggles. "I was, but I'm sure you have more pressing matters." He shifted onto his knees and winced.

Qila cocked her head. "Nothing so pressing it can't wait."

Xigon laughed. "You never come to me this late for pleasantries alone."

Qila sat down across from him. She stretched her arms and sighed. "All right, then. I could use some advice."

Xigon raised his eyebrows. "Advice? On what?"

She crossed her legs. "How is it that you never seem to worry?"

"I do worry," he said. "You know I do."

Qila looked down at the lantern, then up to meet Xigon's eyes. "How do you keep it silent, then?"

"Silence isn't the virtue you think it is," said Xigon. "Tell me, what's bothering you?"

Qila averted her gaze. "It's you."

Xigon thought carefully about his next words. "Rather strange, then, that you would come to me for advice."

"Who else?" Qila reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. "Regardless of how I feel, the fact remains that you are my only equal."

Xigon took a deep breath and fought the urge to recoil. "Anything in particular, then?"

"Kolo," she said. "I like her fine, but I don't understand. Why her?" She let go of him. "Her telekinesis is handy, but I don't understand what makes her stand out in your mind, to the point that we went through all that mess to bring her into our walls."

Xigon touched his goggles. "Tell me, Qila. Why haven't you killed me yet?"

"What?" Qila stood up. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I know you've wanted to," said Xigon. "You've told me as much yourself. And if we're equals as you claim, you are entirely capable of taking my life. So why not?" He saw her face twist in anger and couldn't help but smile at the nerve he'd struck.

"Your smile," she replied. "Your damned smile. It reminds me of the Iron God before we lost him. There's so much of you in him and I can't blind myself to it no matter how much I try."

Xigon nodded. "I see him too, and I see him through Kolo. Her life burns the same hue." He blinked. "I suppose I can't prove it to you."

Qila bit her lip. "No, I'll never understand what you see. I'll never understand anything about you. Just like the Iron God."

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