Scrutinizing Myself [Engineer Series #3]

40

This Chapter is dedicated to all the people who made mistakes or chose the wrong option. I am here to remind you that whether you chose the wrong or right option, it will always depend on you if you are still going to correct of what you did was wrong. And just like, Octav, you'll gonna scrutinize yourself also after choosing the wrong option.

P'wedeng itama ang mali pero hindi p'wedeng ulit-ulitin ang maling nagawa.

/Chapter 40- I Know Everything/

Octav's POV

It has been one year ago when my ex-girlfriend broke up and separated with me.  Iyon na yata ang pinakamalungkot na taon sa buhay ko dahil nangako ako sa sarili at sa pamilya ko na ang unang magiging girlfriend ko ay iyon na rin ang papakasalan ko.

I promised to her that I am going to marry her. I am faithful with almighty to her but I was wrong. Wala pa rin talaga palang mangyayari gaano mo man kamahal ang isang tao kung siya mismo ay hindi tapat sa iyo.

There were so many times that I attempt to cheat with my girlfriend but I chose not to because I know it would be painful for her. Pero iyon pala ay mali ako dahil siya naman ang nagloko sa akin.

She cheated on me, at ang masama pa ay pinsan ko pa ang pinalit niya habang nasa ibang bansa siya.

How funny, right?

My world was like an upside down and didn't know where will I go.

"Wala na ba talaga kayong pag-asa ni Ate Lianne, Kuya?" tanong sa akin ni Melgie kaya pinandilatan ko siya ng aking mga mata.

See? Even my younger brother was still hoping for us to reunited again but I think there was no hope anymore. Hulog na hulog na ang loob ni Lianne sa pinsan kong si Azi kaya wala na akong magagawa.

But yeah, in my mind I was still hoping because Azi doesn't like her back. Lalo na at uuwi si Azi pabalik dito sa Pilipinas paka-graduate niya ng high school. Magka-edad silang dalawa ni Azi, but it was just one-sided love.

"Shut up, Melgie." I told him and glared my eyes.

Tumahimik na siya at ako naman ay umakyat na sa aking kwarto. Doon na lang muli kong kinulong ang sarili ko at nagbabad sa pagbabasa ng mga engineering books. I am still studying in my Masteral Degree in Electrical Engineering for me to be accepted in other country. Balak ko kasing sumakay sa barko at doon ako magtrabaho.

Marami na ang naging plano ko sa buhay para kay Lianne ngunit lahat nang iyon ay nawala ng isang iglap lang. I planned everything in our better future because I want to give her my everything.

Ano ba naman iyan, Octav? Hanggang ngayon ay siya pa rin ang iniisip mo.

Puro ka Lianne Saness!

I got busy with my masteral degree. While I am taking my Masteral degree, I was already working as an electrical engineer in one of the private company here in Albay. May sideline rin ako sa pagbabanda kaya naman ang nangyayari ay isa akong electrical engineer sa umaga at isang vocalist naman sa gabi.

My bandmates were always singing in one of the bar in Albay, but sometimes we are also joining in some Battle of the Bands.

"Hindi ka na ba mag-gi-girlfriend ulit, Octav?" tanong sa akin ng isa sa mga kabanda ko pero umiling ako.

"Nakakatakot nang i-commit ang sarili sa isang relasyon, bro." I told him and I knew that there was still bitterness with my voice.

Ilang taon naman na ang nangyari at unti-unti na akong nagiging maayos.