What exactly is love?

Chapter 11

Previous chapter...

"We were just talking," He said and ran off. He took mum in bridal style back to their room. I guess what I said must have affected him. I am very happy that I was able to speak some senses into him. I was too bright to go back to sleep so I just read my book as we have a test upper week and for the competition. This is sure going to be a tough one on me but I make sure I get through it. I don't know what I am putting myself into, I have fear of public speaking and secondly, I don't want to lose this in front of Miller. I don't want this to happen to me the second time I have nothing to lose. I can't lose in front of Miller now not after Max.

continue...

I have read and reread what I was going to say in the debate. The competition was today, how was I going to the fair?. It was 3 a.m. and I could not bring myself to stop biting my nails. I took meditation classes online, learned different connectives and different public speaking styles. It was 5'o clock in the morning, I did not know what to do. My stomach was twisted and knotted. I did not know what to do. I vomited approximately three times, excreted five times as a result of nervousness. My mum made my favorite milkshake but I could not drink it because I was too nervous to. I got to school, weak and nervous.

"Oh Alex, you look horrible. Are you sick?. If you don't want to do the competition, you could just stay in the nurse's office. I would inform Smith on your behalf." Stacey said as she came to hug me.

"No way by the way since when did you and Miller get all buddy, buddy," I said with my hand leaning on her shoulder for support.

"Well, I and Smith are...." The bell rang signaling that I had to move to the competition center and she had to go for class.

"We would talk later," I said waving to her, the knot in my stomach tightened again and the team moved to the bus. I could not stop rereading my part for the debate.

"I know this might be your first time, but make our school proud. I mean it!" The club leader said making a cold chill run down my spine. My feet were cold but my head and palms were sweaty. I moved up to the stage where our team was being called, one person was given three minutes. In addition to me being nervous, my legs were wobbly. Suddenly my face is coming in contact with the floor but...

"Woah there, Are you okay?." Miller said catching me. He noticed my shaky hands and held them to comfort me.

"I can't let Miller see me like this! He would think of me like a pathetic loser. He would think I am clinging to him too much, that I am depending on him. When I get comfortable with him he would let loose and lure me, just like Max." I said to myself.

"I am ok, just leave me alone. Mind your own business!" I said as I jagged out of his arms but my legs failed me.

"Looks like I wouldn't be minding my own business." He said as he caught me. His face was so closer that I could feel his breath, they were calm. How could someone feel calm in a situation like this? Wishing or comfort, my hand moved involuntarily. I touched where I could feel his heart and leaned on his chest. But no, I can't get comfort from him, the likes of him are dangerous. I again went away from him, but this time he caught my hand.

"If you need help, I would always be there," he said smiling.

"Thanks, but I don't need your help," I said with a straight face. This time my feet were cold again and I sat on a chair for balance. Our team was called out. I was the second to talk as I was after Miller. I quickly read my part and I was called on stage. I went and tried talking...

"My name is erred Alex Weee-st. I am here err.... em ......My name is errr." I stood there frozen. The audience looked at me like I was a freak. The disappointing face, the club president upheld.