WTTM x The Traveler AU

◇●°• Chapter 8 •°●◇

Part written by Timber

One.

They surround me. Drown me, drag me down with them. I feel low. Low. That doesn't happen.

Two.

Ever. It doesn't ever happen. Why am I feeling this way? Who's to blame? All signs turn to me. Not signs. Clock hands. Why. Why? Why is that? I feel low.

Three.

They tick. Louder. Louder. Louder. Not rhythmically. Tick.... tick.. tick. Tick. I feel low.

Tick.

Four.

He won't leave me alone. He will always haunt me. I did this. It's me to blame. It's always me. I feel low.

Five.

I can still see his face. His face. That boy. I see him in that boy. What was his name? Why can't I ever remember anything. Just the bad things. It's always the bad things. Always. I feel low.

Six.

I can feel them closing in. What's happening? What's happening? What's happening?

As if my mind was speaking to me, I heard names get shouted in my direction, but no one was in my hindsight. My hindsight. They are here. There are. I just can't see them. I never see them. Until it's too late, and someone dies. That's why he is here. "What do you want?" I called with a snarl. No response. I feel low.

Seven.

It's happening again. This episode. It's happening again. It happened before. Why does it come now? What did I do this time? I feel low.

Eight.

I know what I did.

Nine.

I know exactly what I did.

Ten.

I'm a monster.

"Dark?" A loud voice said. I gasped and jerked myself awake. "Are you okay?" Yenzo was standing beside the bed.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Two. I'm going to get the kids." Yenzo said.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You came up here after I put those kids back in the guest room. Michail is calm again. He's sure the ranter though." Yenzo muttered. "You fell asleep."

"Right." I scratched the back of my head, trying to seem as if I remembered. The only thing I could see was the face of those kids' dad. Because I killed him. Because I am the reason those kids will never have their father in their life ever again. "I'll just pick the kids up." I said, trying to shake the thought away, but it was tugging its way back to my current thoughts.

"Are you sure?" Yenzo asked.

"Yeah. I just need... to get out for a second. Just a second." I said.

Yenzo didn't look so sure. I could understand why he was worried. I'm worried about myself as well. What if my pondering only led to me purposely driving myself into a building, killing not only me, but other people and possibly my kids if they were with me. I've never regretted killing someone this much before. I still have horrible thoughts of me killing Noah. I love him so much, and can't believe I was sick enough to do that to him. But he's back. I was given a second chance, and I fixed what happened. Fixed? How could I say that?

I didn't fix anything. I mended it, but the scars are still there. They will never go away, and there is nothing I can do to make them go away. Nothing. Just like I can't go back and bring Nicholai back. Just like I probably won't ever be able to make those kids forgive me, or at least shut that boy up long enough so I don't get caught. It wouldn't matter though. I can get away with murder. No. Not this time. I'd probably even own up to the cops first before anyone tells what happened.