He knew it was all fake. Tomura Shigaraki, Tenko Shimura. Names that all belonged to him. Murderer, villain, monster, mistake. Titles that he held.
He was Tomura, he was Tenko. He was someone who needed everything but saving. He didn't deserve it...
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Tomura could remember a time when he wasn't this big bad guy; he could remember being just a kid with his dog and sister. He could remember the stolen innocence, the first sign of insanity, the first moment he was hurt inside. He could always remember. Every time he was alone, he could hear the voices of those he's snuffed out. He could see the faces of his victims whenever he closed his eyes. He couldn't sleep, nightmares of his past forever bothering him.
His name was Tomura Shigaraki. But it wasn't always that. He used to be Tenko Shimura. He used to want to be good, to be a hero. And look at him now. Look at him now. He was laughable. A stereotypical villain, that's what he was. A version of himself that he would've hated when he was younger. He hated himself now. But... He didn't have a choice. His sensei wasn't exactly what the name meant. The man was more of a master, he was the one in charge. Just like his father had been.
There was no way out, not for someone like him. Tomura honestly just wanted it to stop. He wanted everything to just stop. He knew he deserved it. This feeling of guilt and self-hatred. This sense of being a rat in a maze. He was scared. He didn't want to be a villain. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to do any of this. He just wanted it to stop. Please stop.
He just wanted it all to stop. And if he had to stop it by himself, then he would.
Tomura was tired of this, he was tired of remembering, fearing, regretting. He really hoped one of the heroes he fought would kill him. He knew though, that he didn't deserve such a sweet release. After all that he's done, the last thing he deserved was the cold embrace of death he wished for. He was stuck. If he slipped up and failed one of his missions, his master wouldn't be pleased to see him.
At first, the man was kind to Tomura, gaining his trust quickly. Tomura had never had such kindness beforehand from a man, so he was easily twisted and molded into the man's wishes. But now? Now the man had turned back into what his father had been like. And this time, Tomura had no one to turn to. So he was falling. Falling. Falling. Falling. He was falling down into the void of despair and pain.
"Shigaraki, please stop scratching"
"Get him a dog cone"
He hated it. Hated. Hated. Hated. He absolutely despised his situation. He hated the people he was stuck with. He hated everything. So why not destroy it?
He could abandon his league, give away his master, surpass everyone and destroy everything. He could. He should.
Yet...
He was stuck in this forever loop on his little rat maze. Where was the end? When could he leave? Tomura wanted nothing more than to leave.
The heroes, he remembered, would lock him away for life like every criminal. But in his case, with everything he's done, if he played his cards right, he could get him sentenced to death. That was the best way to do everything. It was the only way to do everything.
