Stay ~ Applewood Series #1

28| jesse

The sun isn't up when I pull myself out of bed, but being unable to sleep another second forces me into the bathroom. It's only a little after five in the morning and Abby is still fast asleep after tossing and turning for the majority of the night.

Can't say I blame her, I only got about three hours of sleep before waking up again. I shut the bathroom door behind me and close the toilet seat lid so I can sit on it.

Toying with the phone in my hand, I throw around the idea of calling Nate since he seems to always have some advice. He's definitely awake but I don't know if he is too busy to take a call.

Fuck it.

I dial his number and place the phone to my ear. A few rings in I begin losing hope he'll answer, but I get lucky when the line is picked up on the others side.

"Jesse?" he answers, confusion clear in his voice. "What's going on? Why are you awake?"

"I just need to rant, and maybe some advice, is now alright?" I ask in a quiet voice, hoping to not disturb Abby on the other side of the door.

There is some noise in the background, probably him putting whatever he was holding down. "Yeah of course man, what is it?"

"It's just, I don't know what the hell I was thinking taking her down here. I did it because Meredith threatened to ruin Abby's chances of ever being able to practice anywhere in the northeast but it feels like a mistake now. You should have seen it Nate. They brought my fucking ex-girlfriend over, did nothing but make her feel beneath them and constantly pushed my buttons in front of her. And you know, of course I keep telling her everything is going to be alright, but I feel like a fucking liar when I do. I'm trying to make it okay being here, trying to keep her excited to meet my old friends but it's getting harder to keep my hopes up. It's getting harder to keep her smiling."

I pour my heart out to Nate, hoping for something to come through in his mind to help me out. Out of everything the last part is the hardest to admit. No guy ever wants to admit he doesn't know how to take care of his girlfriend and I feel shittier knowing that I put us in this position. No matter what my initial intentions were I still chose to bring us here, and the guilt is eating away at me.

All I can think about is her face, her perfect doe eyes no longer holding adoration or happiness, but filled with unease and rejection.

"I just don't know how to keep her happy here." I finish, sighing into my hand.

The other side is quiet, however Nate's deep breath signals that he is still there. His lack of response worries me until he begins to speak.

"As much as you wish you didn't go, I think you made the most rational decision you could have in the moment. Abby was threatened with something that could change her life, and I don't think I would have done anything different."

I let out another sigh, relieved I have some sort of validation that I wasn't bad for bringing her here.

"As for keeping her happy, I don't know Jess. You can't make someone happy, and as much as you might want to fix what she's feeling, the way Abby reacts to everyone else's opinions is up to her. I'm sure you tell her there is nothing to worry about?"

"All the time," I confirm.

"Then exactly, letting her now you're there for her and being there for her no matter what is all you can do. I get it's hard to see her struggle with what your parents are saying about her but, I don't know, as harsh as it sounds Abby needs to learn how to figure out what is worth worrying about and what isn't. You're there to support her and that's all she can ask of you really."