Fire Princess and The Ice Queen

4: first heartbreak

Okay. I know you all are getting tired of me recounting my memories of that slimeball Joshua, so let us skip all the other mushy details and get to the next important stop on memory lane. This one is a bit hard for me, so hold tight. 

You all might remember back when Benjamin Ripley came to the Academy. I was at my iciest back then, broken and sad. Now think. In Bens's side of the story, I came to his room- er, the box- to discuss the mole with him. 

"Didn't you think it was odd being recruited to a new school in the middle of January?"

"Yes, I asked your father about it."

"And what did he say?"

"That there was a sudden opening... *pause* someone died?"

"Joshua Hallal. Sixth-year student, top of his class."

Remember that? I do. But to fully understand, let me tell you a little story. I call it the birth of the Ice Queen.

***

It was a Monday. I was sitting in my room doing my homework, and complaining to myself that the teachers still gave me homework. They knew I knew the answers, I suspected that most didn't even bother to read my stuff and had just started rubber stamping them with A's. 

"Who was the first Spy Maser of the USA..." I read the question aloud from the worksheet. "what, do they think we're in kindergarten?!" I scribbled down the answer, George Washington, and set down the pen. 

"Well, that wasn't even stimulating!" I muttered to myself. BANG! I was suddenly thrown out of my chair. The whole building shook. An Explosion! I guessed by the noise and the thrust that it had been C4, detonated about three rooms away to my left... JOSH's ROOM! I sprang to my feet, heart pounding. No no no no no! I prayed to God that he hadn't been in his room, or my calculations had been wrong... but they weren't. I entered the hall and ran into the smoke and fire, determined to make sure my boyfriend was okay. 

"JOSH!" I cried, feeling my lungs and eyes burning. "JOSH! HELLO? JOSH!!!" In the haze of flames, I saw a figure on the far side of the room. A figure sprawled out on the floor, surrounded by flames, clothes, and hair on fire. 

"NOOOO!!!" I felt my eyes burning and I willed the tears to stay away. A hand grabbed mine from behind me.

"Josh?" I spun around, only to see the floors resident advisor Tina Cuevo. 

"Erica! You need to get out of here!" she cried, dragging me out of the burning room. 

"NO! I NEED TO HELP HIM!" 

"Erica, if that's him... he's likely not... not still with us." I turned to Tina, my tears winning the battle. They spilled out over the rims of my icy blue eyes, drenching my pale face. 

"I- NO!" I screamed, sinking to the floor. "NO NO NO! I cant- no- I can't even- I mean- what am I suppose to do!? I can't no no NOOOO!!!" Grandpa had been right. I never should have made a personal connection. I had to learn from my mistake. From now on I would no longer be the fiery, fun spy Erica Hale. I would no longer be my mother's little fire princess. I was going to be the Erica I had to be. The Erica who was going to survive Spy School. I was going to be the Ice Queen. I was going to-

"Erica?" Tina bent down, putting her hand on my shoulder. "are you..." I shook her off and stood, then slowly blinked. When I opened my eyes again they were empty. Dark, emotionless pits of transfixing blue. 

"Erica-" 

"No," I said, then turned and walked away. I had done it. I had shut it off. I was never going to feel again.