evo sta ti tfthkab uradi smh.....

im sorry

"can i .. lean on you ?", he asked moving closer to her ear, his eyes dazed.

"yeah, yeah", she nodded, stepping closer and catching his arm to hold it, "everything okay ?", she added.

he leaned onto her side, his head bumping her shoulder and staying there. his eyes glanced over the blur of motion around him, various people talking over each other and laughing together. his mind couldn't focus, his eyes wouldn't focus, he couldn't comprehend any of it. he closed his eyes.

"mmyeah, just, just a bit", he trailed off, mumbling something incomprehensible. her hand moved to grip at his waist, shaky, afraid that he wasn't able to hold himself up.

"a bit what ?", she asked, urging him to continue, to finish his sentence, so she could have an idea of what's going on. her mind ran haywire with the possibilities.

it could be his blood sugar dropping or his blood pressure also dropping, in which case she had to act fast and help him, but it could also be him panicking and just needing support, in which case she should also hurry to get him out of here and calm him down, but he could also be fine and just a bit tired and she could be overreacting but she still had to be sure she had to-

"a bit nervous", he murmured, moving his hand slightly, rubbing it against her side, trying to ground himself. and oh, her eyes widened with realisation and her hand gripped his waist tighter. she looked around at their classmates, searching for a closer friend, and when she spotted her she called her name.

"we're gonna go to the bathroom for a second !", she said, and her friend nodded with a smile, her eyes moving from her to the person leaned onto her. she had no time to explain right now, she thought and took his hand to guide him to the bathroom.

he let out an "oumph" sound as he let her drag him along the courtyard. he did his best to keep up with her, his eyes looking around, everything still a blur of colors. his free hand shook and he shoved it in his jacket, the other gripping her hand tighter. he stumbled after her, jogging a bit to keep up, blinking rapidly in an attempt to clear his vision. she stopped in her tracks to hold him by the waist again, and they walked slower to the bathroom, her pace matching his.

the second they entered the bathroom he shut his eyes tightly, not daring to look at her. he trusts her. she won't let him fall, or stumble or hit himself somewhere, she was careful, but fear overwhelmed him in a second and he didn't dare open his eyes to look at her, her face, her expression, her eyes, her lips.. was she disappointed ? was she irritated ? was she done with this ? what time is it this week that he just, just panicked, once again ? just stopped and couldn't move once again ? just couldn't speak and just, just couldn't focus ?

she must be so done. she must be so sick of him.

he needed to stop this, he needed to get himself under control, he really needed to-

"oh my fucking god", he yelled in suprise when cold water was splashed over his face.

"are you here now ??", she put her dripping, cold hands on his forearms, making him shudder. he looked up at her, his vision hazy, but clearer.

"i am, i'm fine, sorry", he looked to the side, avoiding her eyes as he rubbed his sweaty palms on his shorts. he tried to focus his eyes on a bathroom stall door, or at least the doorknob, but people kept coming in and out of the bathroom, the door kept creaking and the kids kept yelling and talking and the water was running and his heart was hammering in his chest and the footsteps, a million footsteps at the same time, kids laughing, he couldn't, he couldn't-

"look at me, look at me, hey", she took his trembling hands into her, her thumbs rubbing them lightly, very lightly, as if she was scared to be too rough.

her hands felt so warm on his.

his hands were sweaty and clammy and they didn't stop shaking, but her steady, soft hands, gripping his were enough.

his eyes searched the bathroom, gazing over the people, the stalls, the walls, meeting her eyes and staying on them. he loved her eyes. he loved her face. her lips formed a straight line, she seemed concerned and his mind was fuzzy with the thought of her being concerned about him, but she was concerned and he shouldn't let that happen, he should reassure her, he should tell her that everything is fine, he-

"are you good ? do you need something ?", she asked, her eyebrows furrowing.

he wanted a hug. he needed a hug. his hands seemed to get even sweatier, but he shook his head, looking down again. he shut his eyes.

she stayed quiet, gripping his hands tighter, or she didn't and he didn't hear her, so he whipped his head up again to look at her, but, her eyes.. her lips formed a deeper frown and he panicked again, his hands sweating and he,

"i need, i, uh, i need a hug", he mumbled, averting his eyes to look at the stalls again.

he heard her heave out a breath and felt her warm hands leave his and in a second his breath hitched and he thought, i've done it now, it's over.

"just say it", she said, her arms engulfing him in a tight, tight hug, "just tell me what you need", she repeated. he sighed. he untangled his shaking hands and put them around her sides, pulling her closer. he buried his nose in her shoulder, breathing in. he closed his eyes.

"just a hug", he whispered, hoping she heard.

he felt her nod her head and tighten her hands around him.

maybe she wasn't done with him.

maybe this wasn't so bad.