Hate Notes

Chapter 7

If there was ever a time that I thought the world was messing with me, today would be one of those days.

I ached all over, but the cast on my right leg was my biggest problem. When I woke up today, I didn't think I would face a lot of problems this week. This man, whom I have hated for years, the man I woke up hating every day and shared hate notes with, was the man who decided today would be the day he would fuck with my mind.

He had done it before-reduced me into a mess, took away peace and left chaos instead. He did it again. This time, I contributed. I had messed up my own mind when I kissed back. When I allowed myself to feel his kiss, to let him imprint himself on me. Despite the pain on my broken leg, it didn't stop me from feeling tingles every time I remembered Jesse had kissed me.

That said man barged into my hospital room, startling me. My breath caught when Jesse swept his gaze to my face and the cast on my leg. He slammed the door behind him and stride into the room. I couldn't tell what he was feeling, but the more he approached, the more my heart kept speeding up. The more my lips tingled.

Jesse stopped by the bed as he looked down at me, his hands on his waist. "I kiss you and the first thing your think is to run through traffic? Fucking great."

I turned my eyes away and gripped my sheets, refusing to look at him. I thought the kiss had been a mistake. I thought he would want to forget it happened, but saying it out loud made it real. Talking about the kiss to me felt like an attack. I could not understand how to defeat it. How to protect myself against the fact that he had kissed me.

And I sure as hell didn't know how to act.

"If I hadn't called your mum, I wouldn't have known you are here." He sighed. "Are you not going to look at me? Say something?"

I felt my face getting warm, but I refused to look at him or say anything. I remained stubborn. I wouldn't budge for anything, not even when he slowly chuckled.

"Okay, I will accept your stubborn ass, but you can nod, right? So nod or shake your head to my question. Are you feeling okay?"

Silence welcomed us again.

Then he said in a soft, jeering voice, "If you don't respond, Iris, I swear to God I'm going to give you a lot more to panic. In case you have forgotten this slight information, I don't give a shit what I do and damn the consequences. Respond or I will give you a lot more to run into traffic for."

I think I inhaled so fast it actually felt like I might choke, but I nodded defeatedly. I closed my eyes and opened them, turning my head to stare at him.

"Okay, good. Do you need something? Want me to call anyone?"

"No, you can just leave." My leg hurt, but it didn't hurt as much as it did the first time I was wheeled into the hospital four days ago.

"You can forget about chasing me away." Jesse gritted his teeth beneath a careless smile and added, "I kissed you and I'm taking that responsibility."

I flinched. "Can you stop saying that?" I drew a deep breath, steadying my nerves and my heart, which started to beat far too fast. I was completely defenseless against him now, and we both knew it. Completely defenseless if he doesn't drop the subject.

"What? Kissing you?"

The sound of his voice and the angry note in it stiffened me, giving me the strength to sit up. I couldn't do this while I was lying down. "Please stop," I clipped out. He was calm. I was frantic. I knew he could see it surging up in me.

He sauntered forward and frowned, as if uncertain what to say or do with her next. "Why do you want me to stop? Do you think I'm going to stop talking about it because you don't like it?" he demanded in a harsh, deadly whisper between gritted teeth. "I don't care if it makes you uncomfortable. I kissed you and you kissed back. I won't let you run away from that."