Hate Notes

Chapter 8

There was a time when I snuck into my brother's bedroom to steal his charger and replace it with the one I broke. He was at football practice, so when I had the opportunity, I snuck into his room.

Nobody should ever have to sneak into their brother's room and accidentally find things that would make you want to pluck your eyes out, but I had swept through his stuff just so I could find something I wanted to blackmail him for. Instead, I ended up finding something that swept me into a daydream. It had been a picture of Jesse. He was with my brother when the picture got taken, but it was Jesse who stared back at the camera, a wild smile on his face. There had been something on his face. A look that was wild, dark, and brooding. He seemed like the happiest kid, but then you look again and he seemed intimidating and harsh. And yet, no matter how he looked to me, he was still Jesse; his features and his beauty were there: perfect, enthralling, and seductive.

My lips parted when I stared at that face now. When I knocked on the door and he opened it without question. The fact that I was supposed to be anywhere but here didn't faze me, but I was already here. I had knocked, and he had answered. The rain had slowed, but I was still drenched. It amused me how I could go back and forth between people, not caring the slightest about my well-being, or the fact that my leg was throbbing and I needed to get out of my wet clothes before I wake up sick tomorrow. However, that was the least of my worries.

I stared up at Jesse, felt my lips move, but words didn't form around it. Perhaps I could start by apologizing, but that was easier said than done. I was a woman of few talents and apologizing topped the very list of things I was not good at.

He lets me in.

Barefooted, Jesse lets me inside his house without a fight or a word. He walked back in and left the door open for me. Now, this was the easiest part. My legs would walk me inside, but my words would continue to fail me. After all, I had never admitted to being wrong when it came to him. Never had to apologize or felt ashamed. Embarrassed. Regretful. So many new emotions that didn't fit the criteria of the woman who had spent her entire life hating one man.

I was freezing and shaking, and by the time I limped into the living room, Jesse was kneeling in front of the fireplace, setting a few logs inside before lighting a fire. Immediately, I got drawn by the heat before I moved. I went down on my knees, feeling the warm breath of fire on my skin as I stretched my broken leg. It felt so good that I had to close my eyes to savor it. My teeth still chattered.

A blanket was thrown into my lap. I lifted my head in time for Jesse to sit next to me, drawing his legs upwards and wrapping his arms around them. I held the blanket over my head as I began to run it through my hair. I dried my arms next before keeping the blanket aside, rising to my feet. He watched me quietly.

My hands went around my neck before I gripped my blouse, pulling it over my head to stand in my black bra. I didn't care that he was watching. I stripped down my jeans and stood in my underwear. Limping to the couch, I grabbed the hoodie lying there and put it over my head to wear it. It smelled like him so I tried not to let it affect me when I went back to sit next to him.

I tried not to look at him. Was he surprised? Shocked? I hugged my knees to my chest.

"You must have had quite a day," Jesse drawled.

I didn't turn, but I burst out a fit of giggles that turned into a full-blown laughter. His attention drifted to my face and a small smile played at his lips. He leaned back, his gaze remaining on my face as if he found it odd and amusing to see me laughing.

"We finally lost you, huh? Took so long for that to happen. I thought you would have lost it a long time ago."

Pressing my lips to my bent knee to hide my smile, I flipped him off. He huffed in answer. "Maybe I'm just so good at playing a sane person," I returned. "A sane person wouldn't walk in the rain for ten minutes."