(skipping past the two years and nine months anniversary )
tw/ suicidal thoughts
June 16th, 2020
"Tomorrow!" You are so excited. It's admiring to see you happy finally. "Dream, I know." I saw your smile go down with that response.
You aren't the same anymore. You are happier and more admirable to me. I finally feel loved by you.
June 17th, 2020
It's midnight; we just got done slow dancing to a song. "Happy three years, my love. I love you." That's the first time you have said I love you to me in a year. I'm glad I finally have my Dream back.
2:15 am
Sapnap, my love. You are asleep. I am awake. Wide awake. You deserve the world. You deserve a passion that I can't give you. You deserve someone that wants to live with you forever. I want you forever, but I don't want to stay forever. Hell, I don't even want to stay tonight. I want to lay tonight and not wake tomorrow. I know it's selfish; I have you, a family, and fans who all care about me but the internal fight with myself isn't fun anymore. Oh well.
