You're gone. I don't hate you for leaving. I hate myself for being the reason why you left. How can you love someone so much yet mistreats the one you love? I do love you; I never loved someone as much. At the same time, you don't deserve the pain I caused you. I will change for you. I'll go to therapy and get the help I need.
1 Month Later
Waking up without you is hard. I miss you every day. Part of me wants to fly back to you and say, "I am home." The other part of me knows we need this time to fix ourselves. I miss you; you were my home. You are my home. Not here in Texas, not in that stupid house. It's you that I find a home in. Since I left, I haven't felt any warmth or joy. I thought that was supposed to happen when I left. It won't happen, though. Time will heal us, and I'll be with you again, my Dream. I'll get to tell you I love you again, and everything will be okay again. I hope.
It hurts coming home, and you aren't there. We text but not as much as we used to. It's not the same anymore. I update you on my therapy and for streams together. The hardest part of it is acting okay on stream, so the fans don't know something is up. When asked by friends why we broke up, we told them to work on ourselves. That's normal, right? Three years, and you are now apart to work on yourselves. I worry that you never want me again, I would hate it if that happened, but I understand. I was the worst. I'm sorry, I love you, my love.
