tw / suicidal thoughts
1 am
Dream,
I can't stay here; I know you don't love me. I see it when you start to lose focus when we are dancing. I can hear it in your I love you. You don't love me, and that is fine. Whoever he is, I hope he makes you happier than ever. I hope you treat him right; I hope you fixing yourself is for not only him but also for yourself. You never said his name and only called him 'my love.' I knew then; this guy was the one for you. I don't want to just walk into your life and leave. If you're going to stay friends, you know how to reach me. For now, though, goodbye. Maybe, forever.
Love, George
Like that George left who he found a home in. As much as George loves Dream and would love to fight for his love, he knows Dream is happier with this other guy. Sometimes, life brings you someone to love; you love them, but you can't love them forever no matter how much you want to. That's who Dream was to George. George wishes he could be with Dream forever. He wants to wake up next to him every day. He wants to hear Dream ramble about things he loves. Sadly, he knows that Dream isn't his forever. It's 1 am in Florida; luckily, George bought that hotel room just in case this happened so he could go there.
2 am
Waking up to an empty side again, what did I do this time? How did I hurt you? Glancing over, I see you left me a letter. I honestly don't want to read it. Part of me feels like I can't go through this again. Do you remember the first time you left me? It was because you needed a break. This time we are just friends, and it hurts to see you gone again. If I want my answer, though, I guess I need to read it.
2:15 am
**buzz** *buzz** my Dream is calling **buzz** **buzz**
I always say, 2 is a terrible time to be awake. For you, I know something is up. I can't decline the call, though. You are the person I love, and I need to know you are okay.
"My love, I can't do this anymore. Everyone leaves me. I am not worthy of love. I am not worthy of this life. I am not worthy of you. I am not worthy of my friends. I don't deserve my career. I don't need to be alive. I am better off dead." Something happened; someone hurt you. You were doing so well. I want to be with you, I want to hold you tightly in my arms, but I know I can't. Going back to you makes me weak, but you need me more than ever. You started crying, and my heart broke. "My love, can you come home?"
I told you "no." You hung up. You tweeted a smiley face. Crazy how you are always spreading happiness yet, you are so damaged. One day, my Dream, I'll be home.
