Just Right

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I hadn’t been to a bar in years but somehow tonight my presence in one was fitting. Surrounding myself with well-dressed strangers, a sober island in a sea of intoxication. I sipped my ginger ale, wondering if I should just turn my phone back on and face my troubles instead of hiding in the last place anyone would think to look for me.

“Ma’am?” The bartender said as he poured a glass of merlot.

“Yes?”

He placed the glass in front of me, grinning suspiciously.

“This is from the gentleman at the end of the bar.”

What? People actually do that? I looked to where the bartender was pointing and a rather handsome, somehow familiar man lifted his own drink, acknowledging my acknowledgement of him. I smiled shyly and quickly looked away, hoping I hadn’t encouraged him. I touched the stem of the glass in front of me, tempted to gulp it in one go, but refrained. The night was still young.

I hadn’t intended to drink at all but the burgundy liquor looked so inviting, like an offering from someone’s heart.

“Hello Melissa.”

I turned to see the man from the end of the bar slide onto the stool next to mine. Close up he looked even more familiar and I tried desperately to place him but couldn’t.

“You don’t remember me,” he said, looking somehow both disappointed and amused.

His eyes, which were darker than my own dark brown, glistened in the dim light of the bar and suddenly I knew where I’d stared into those eyes before.

“Jason.”

He grinned, the same boyish grin I now remembered from a year ago when he had interned at the publishing company where I worked as an editor. Then he was young and shy, his flirtation subtle and focused on me. Even if I had been single at the time, I was nearly ten years his senior. However, his attraction to me, though inappropriate for many reasons, made me feel beautiful and I reveled in it when I had it and missed it when he left.

Now, though, his confidence was intoxicating. So much so, I began to feel like I had been drinking more than ginger ale all night. He just sat and watched me remember him, grinning. Feeling slightly insecure, I reached for the wine and took a sip. The mellow flavor helped me relax as I felt it roll down my throat, warming my chest like a hug in the winter.

“I’m surprised to see you here alone,” Jason said.

“Why’s that?”

“As I recall, ‘I have a boyfriend’ was one of your favorite things to say to me. Are you two still together?”

I thought of my phone, still off, probably being bombarded with messages that for the sender were showing as undelivered, which was probably driving him crazy, a thought that made me smile despite myself.

“I didn’t mean to stump you,” Jason quipped after my longer than intended silence. “It’s an easy question.”

“Not as easy as you think.”

Jason nodded as though my short response told the whole story. In a way, I suppose it did.

“Well, what can I do to take your mind off of everything?”

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