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JALEN REMEMBERED THE FIRST TIME he saw Noelani, all the way back at that house party in 2019. The minute they had locked eyes, he had known, subconsciously at the time, that this was it.
She was it for him.
So why am I not it for her?
He turned onto his spine in the bed and stared up at the plain hotel room ceiling for a few moments then closed his eyes at the feeling of tears.
Jalen wasn't a huge crier but that fact did nothing to dispel his full tear ducts. He sprang his eyes open to cry a little easier and folded his elbow over them, a little ashamed.
There was a boisterous knock on the door causing Jalen to lift his now wet arm from his face, a bit alarmed. He hadn't told Noelani where he was staying, in fact, he hadn't told anyone where he was staying.
The knock repeated itself and with a sigh and a heavy rub of both eyes, he rose from the bed, crossed the spacious hotel room to take a look through the peephole.
His younger sister, Jurnee was standing outside in the hallway, tapping her foot against the sage green carpet. Jalen immediately sighed at her appearance, "What the fuck?"
But knowing how unrelenting she could be, Jalen opened the door just enough to reveal himself and Jurnee immediately pushed through into the room past him, "Um, hi? How did you find me? How did you get here?"
"Yeah, hi. I tipped a bunch of hotel receptionists. What is going on?" Jurnee asked as she dropped her purse onto the dresser opposite the bed, "Tried calling you but you didn't pick up, went by your house and Noelani said she hadn't seen you for days. She looks a wreck by the way, you should check in on her and-." Jurnee stopped her rant when she took a greater look at Jalen's face.
"Have... Have you been crying?"
"No," Jalen lied as he plopped down on the edge of the bed.
Jurnee blinked slowly before pulling out the computer chair from the desk and sitting down, "Did something happen?"
Jalen shook his head and then hung it in his hands for a few moments, not wanting to admit his heartbreak, "Noelani doesn't wanna get married. She doesn't see herself walking down the aisle."
Jurnee's eyes widened for a moment and Jalen sighed, "Yeah."
"She said this to you?" Jurnee asked.
"I heard her talking to her mom," Jalen replied.
"So..." Jurnee pushed.
"So, it's over. Me and her..." Jalen had to pause and take a breath as to not start sobbing in front of his baby sister, "We're over."
"Why do you have to be over? Just don't get married," Jurnee retorted in a 'duh' tone.
"It's not that simple. If you're in a relationship, wanting different things, eventually your time runs out." Jalen said softly, still a little choked up.
Jurnee's eyes were still widened but her mouth was quirked up in a way that let him know that more rapid fire questions were coming Jalen's way.
"Never mind, Jurnee. It's grown folk business."
"Grown folk business? When did you start talking like an old man?" Jurnee teased.
Jalen snickered a little and Jurnee clapped triumphantly, "Got you to laugh! Now get up and get ready. You need to go home."
"I'm not leaving this room, Jurnee. I already know what you're thinking and I don't wan-." Jalen started to say.
"Alani." Jurnee reminded him.
And that name alone was enough for Jalen to stand to his full height, "Give me ten minutes. And I don't know how you got here by yourself considering you don't have a license but you're getting dropped off first."
"But you need moral support! C'mon," Jurnee whined.
Jalen rolled his eyes, "No."
Thirty minutes and some change later, Jalen pulled up in front of the two story home he shared and parked on the curb.
His walk to the front door was slow and the turn of the key was even slower.
He found Noelani exactly where he had expected her to be: sitting in the rocking chair with Alani fussing in her lap.
When she saw him, she shifted Alani to her hip and rose in a lightning speed manner, still quiet.
Jalen wordlessly moved forward and held his arms out for his child.
Noelani tucked her bottom lip in but gently placed Alani into his hold, "Can we please talk about this?"
"I think you've said everything you wanted to say." Jalen made sure that his tone held no emotion, no depth.
Noelani shook her head, her sandy brown curls moving with her, "Why does everything have to be your way or the highway? Can't we stay together and compromise? Isn't that what a relationship is about?"
"And what compromises are you willing to make?"
"Besides the ones I've made already?" Noelani closed her eyes for a moment and rubbed her forehead with her thumb, "I'm sorry. I don't want to yell tonight."
Jalen could barely look at her, "I think you should stay somewhere else tonight."
Noelani's mouth dropped open for a split second before immediately closing, "Is that really what you want? Are you sure about this?"
Jalen lifted his head for a second to meet her eyes then dropped his gaze down at the almost one year old in his hands, "Yes. Go be free."
"Then I guess that this is it." Noelani's nod was curt and stiff.
"I guess it is." Jalen could feel his heart both pounding and breaking simultaneously at his words but this one topic was not one he would not budge on.
Noelani paused at the doorway, her hand on the wall and the expression on her face full of distaste and disappointment, "You know, just because marriage isn't for me doesn't mean that I don't love you. You are the only man I've ever loved."
"And that's still not enough to be my wife, huh?" Jalen called back.
Five years down the drain.
Noelani shook her head at his words once more then just like that, she was gone.
