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NOELANI SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN AS scared as she was.
The ocean and surfing, once upon a time, was her entire life but now as she stood on the empty beach, her gaze on the Pacific Ocean, Noelani didn't feel the excitement.
She felt genuine fear.
Before the adrenaline and the risk of riding giant waves made her feel alive but now all she could think about was the possibility of being overcome by one of a previously mentioned massive waves, drowning, and not making it home to pick up her kid the following week.
Noelani exhaled a little before whispering to herself, "You've never been scared doing this before. Buck the fuck up. Don't mess up your birthday."
But she still hadn't moved so Noelani tried again to be her motivation.
"C'mon, Noel. You haven't lost yourself yet. Just go ahead and prove it."
So with that statement in mind, Noelani readjusted the sleeve of her wetsuit so that it covered her left wrist, took another slight exhale then tentatively picked up the waxed-up surfboard laying in the sand by her bare feet.
The water was frigid to the touch but it didn't stop her from continuing to paddle out into open water. Once Noelani had determined she had reached a far enough spot away from the beach, she sat up to straddle the surfboard and survey the calm waters.
Cautiously, Noelani skimmed the top of the current with her fingertips, liking how the flood of pleasant memories made her feel warm inside. She dipped the entirety of her hand into the water then removed it and shook the excess droplets off.
A medium-sized wave was finally on its way and Noelani forced down the fear for a final time before laying down on her stomach and paddling with her arms as fast as she could.
As soon as the pointed tip of her surfboard hit the middle of the wave, muscle memory was beginning to kick in, moving Noelani's limbs to the right positions, and before she knew it, Noelani was standing completely upright on the board.
A grin floated onto her face as she completed an easy surfing trick, turning her board a whole 360 while up in the air.
"Whoo!" Noelani couldn't help but cheer in one part surprise and one part unadulterated joy.
It was similar to riding a bike for her once she had stood up and Noelani couldn't believe she had even been scared to do this in the first place.
