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"PLAY IT AGAIN." Bree commanded from where she was stooped on a chair in the corner of Jalen's bedroom.
He tucked the thumbnail of his left hand into his mouth and bit down before following his mother's request.
On the first listen of the voicemail that Noelani had sent him, Jalen had gotten visibly and audibly angry.
Be friends? He had thought to himself, How would I be able to be just friends with you?
This voicemail was bullshit.
But those thoughts had arrived on the first listening of the voicemail and now he was on his fourth replay because, quite frankly, he couldn't help himself.
Jalen hadn't heard her voice in so long and even if her words were pissing him off, he still wanted to hear her say them.
"'Um... How-. You know what, I'm going to get straight to the point. I know you don't wanna see me, don't wanna hear from me but I need to say this,'" Jalen paused the voicemail then sat up on the edge of his bed, one hand covering his mouth so he could take a deep breath.
"You okay?" Bree asked, her nose scrunched up a little with concern.
"Yeah." His tone was a little absent minded.
Then he hit the play button again.
"'I think that we should work on being cordial for the sake of of our kid as well as ourselves. I... You were my best friend, Jalen. Even if we're not together, I would still like for us to have a good relationship because losing you completely... I don't think I can handle it. If you don't respond, I get it. I-.'"
There came the little pause and then the sound of Noelani releasing a quick but shallow breath before continuing, "'I just think it would be a shame if we never got on good terms again.'"
As soon as the voicemail ended, Jalen dragged the hand that was pressed against his lips down the length of his face with a groan, "Ahh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."
"Well, she sounds genuine," Bree said in a thoughtful tone, "If that means anything to you. I think that you guys being friends is a good idea."
Jalen scoffed at his mother's words, "Friends." Then he scoffed again.
"Yes, friends. It's not a bad idea once you really think about it." Bree explained.
"Why would I wanna be friends with her? In what world would that happen?" Jalen threw back.
Bree pressed her index and middle finger to the center of her forehead for a moment before clasping her hands together over her legging covered knees, "Why'd you call me here if you didn't want my advice?"
Jalen stared at his mother, "I do want your advice. That's why you're here."
"No, what you want is for someone to hold your hand and tell you that it's okay for you to continue to avoid her. To continue to hold Alani basically hostage because Noelani knows you'll raise hell if you see her and the only person she loves more than you is that child. If you wanted someone to tell you that avoidance was okay, you should've called one of your friends not me." Bree replied in a gentle tone.
"Holding-." Jalen forced himself to be silent to contain the quiet fury that was seeping into his pores, "I'm not holding anyone hostage. I-."
"Don't get angry with me," Bree reproached, "I have not done anything besides talk and listen on both sides."
"You've spoken to her?" Jalen snapped his head up at that.
Bree studied his carefully for a bear before responding, "I figured you would get tired of her father coming over all the time to check on Alani for her so yes... I've spoken to her."
Jalen stared at Bree, waiting for her to continue, "How's she doing?"
The expression on her face was still cautious, "She misses her daughter."
As if on cue, Alani's cries began to sound through the baby monitor and Jalen rested his head in his hands, throughly exhausted by the whine.
That was another thing, Alani would only stop crying when she was asleep or being fed and it had been that way since Noelani had left.
"Fuck," Jalen whispered once more.
Bree simply raised one eyebrow and pursed her lips in the way that all mothers seemed to master.
"Can you-?" Jalen started to ask after another beat.
"No." Bree interrupted in an emphatic tone, "Go be a man and do it yourself."
Jalen shook his head and remained where he was, "I can't do it, mom. I can't. I think of her and it takes everything I have not to cry like a baby. Like Alani is right now. So if that makes me not a man, then fine. I'm not a man. I can't see her, I'm not ready to be friends. Please don't push me. I'm begging."
Bree slowly rose to her sock covered feet, "I don't have any pep talks left, Jalen. I don't. I know that's not what you wanna hear but I have nothing positive and kind left to say. You need to push your feelings aside and go call that woman. Because she's a woman and you're a man and neither of you are seventeen anymore playing footsie under the table like no one can see it."
At the last anecdote Bree slipped in, Jalen chuckled quite a bit, "You saw that?"
"Everyone saw that."
Jalen shook his head again then placed his head in his hands, emotionally battered by the mixed sound of the conversation and the baby's crying.
He could feel Bree place a hand on his back, "Fine. I'll do it for you this one time but after this, no more freebies. I mean it."
The sound of her feet thudding against the floor let Jalen know that she had left the room.
Once the door was shut and the crying had stopped, Jalen pulled back the covers on what was once Noelani's side of the bed, crawled in and laid there, now completely silent.
