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"THANK YOU FOR COMING OVER SO QUICKLY," Noelani started to say as she rubbed her palms together in an attempt to have something to do with her hands, "I know it's last minute and I tried to fix it myself but I left my toolbox at-."
"Noel, it's fine. I live close so it's fine," Nimari smiled up at her from where he was laying adjacent to the open cabinet door underneath the sink. Noelani was sitting on the kitchen counter, Nimari's toolbox pressed against her outer thigh.
Despite it being only late March, the temperature was reaching summer like heights which led to all the windows in Noelani's home to be open.
"I have to make it up to you somehow," Noelani pushed back one side of her fading red hair and bit down on her pillowy bottom lip in contemplation, "I'll order something. What do you like?"
"It's fine," Nimari repeated, "Pass me the wrench?"
Noelani wordlessly passed the slightly rusted tool to Nimari's outstretched hand. The man grunted as he turned the object around the pipe, "Okay. Try and turn it on now."
Noelani skillfully hopped off the counter to turn the handle connected to the sink while Nimari scrambled to his feet to watch. Thankfully, unlike this morning, the water didn't sputter and the flail droplets around the kitchen.
"Can I have some water?" Nimari said as he sat down in one of the chairs set by her matching mahogany kitchen table, then wiped his forehead dramatically.
Noelani snickered a bit as she dropped into the chair closest to his and then slid a water bottle to Nimari's waiting hand, "I forgot how extra you are sometimes."
Nimari held up one finger as a gesture for Noelani to wait while he chugged at the water bottle until there was only a quarter left, "Not the pot calling the kettle black."
Noelani raised an eyebrow prompting Nimari to continue, "Was it not you who broke vases in your room that one time? And then you who got on a plane for a broken foot? And before then-."
"Okay, okay, okay," Noelani released an uneasy laugh, "I was... Am dramatic. But what can I say? I'm an Aries. We're a little insane."
" Speaking of. Isn't your birthday coming up soon?" Nimari inquired after another gulp of water, "What's Jalen doing for you this year? I remember last year it was..."
"We stayed in," Noelani remembered, her tone turning wistful, "Alani was only two months so we camped out. Turned our phones off so no one would find us. It was great." Noelani took in a big exhale, trying to ignore how the hollow space in her chest felt full at just the sound of his name, "But what about you? How's everything for you?"
Nimari finally finished his water bottle, "I just got this great job assistant coaching for USC. Trying to see if I could use it to get to ESPN. What about you? Vet school?"
Noelani let a smile grow on her face then eagerly slapped his shoulder, "That's amazing! I'm so happy for you! And... No, probably not. All the money I would need for vet school is going to my kid right now but maybe one day."
"We're really living our dreams," Nimari commented, his tone a sort of dreamy relaxation that Noelani hadn't felt in awhile.
The phrase made Noelani pause in her breathing, "Can I ask you something?"
Nimari hummed his assent as he lifted his eyes to show that she had his full attention.
"Do you... Do you ever wonder about what we could've been in high school?" Noelani asked tentatively.
Nimari didn't speak for several moments, his facial expression hard for her to read, "I don't follow."
"Just... If I hadn't been with Jalen our senior year, would you have made a move?" Her eyes were wide with curiosity.
Nimari began to chuckle and put his phone face down on the table, "Noel, what are you doing?"
Noelani tried not to show that she was slightly taken aback at his tone, "I'm asking a question."
Nimari simply continued to release low laughter then shook his head before picking up the water bottle, "Kinda question is that?"
"A serious one." Noelani put a touch of hardness in her tone to ensure that he would get the hint to stop laughing, "I'm trying to talk about us."
Nimari stared at her, his gaze searching for answers that she wasn't quite sure she had, "Noel... Who are we kidding here? There was never an us. Maybe in a different universe we could've been but there's nothing to gain from us talking about 'ifs or maybe so'. Where is this coming from?"
Noelani blew out a sigh then let her eyes drift to where her dog, Blue, was resting on the couch a room away, "I... I don't know. I guess the question's been on the tip on my tongue since I last saw you," She looked down, "I've made a lot of mistakes lately... Maybe not choosing you was my first one."
Even as she said it, Noelani knew her words weren't entirely true, something that Nimari had guessed as evidenced by the doubtful look he shot her.
"Noel..." This time it was Nimari's turn to shake his head and then blow out a breath, "It wasn't a mistake. You don't believe that. You went where your heart led you and that wasn't a mistake," He covered the hand Noelani had resting on the table, "It wasn't meant to be and that's okay. As for these other mistakes, you gotta elaborate."
Noelani chuckled, "Where do I start? Let's see... My cousin is walking all over me cause I don't have the heart to kick her out. Um, my child no longer lives in a two parent home which is the last thing I wanted and Jalen wants to get back together but I'm not really sure he meant that because he was hungover and even if he did... I don't wanna go back to being a housewife like I was before."
Nimari raised an eyebrow, prompting Noelani to continue, "I have my own job and my own house and I'm paying bills and I feel like an adult. Jalen means well and he took care of me but..." She shook her head, "Marriage freaks me the fuck out, Mari. I can't go through what my mother went through. I just can't."
"Noel, I like you so I'm going to be honest with you.." Nimari began in a gentle tone, "You're letting your parents' relationship control your life. You're so afraid that you're gonna end up like her that you actually will. When was the last time your mom had romantic love? A love that was past family and friends?"
Noelani was silent, stunned by the impact of his words. Nimari licked his bottom lip a little then began to rummage through his pants pocket before standing up, "I should go."
"Yeah." Noelani murmured quietly, her emotions still clouded by the revelation.
She rose as well to walk Nimari to the front door when he paused and then held open his right palm. In the center of it was a solid gold wedding band and Nimari slipped the object on with a bright smile.
"Marriage isn't so bad, Noel. You'll see." Nimari embraced for a short moment, then closed the door behind him leaving Noelani alone with nothing but her racing thoughts.
